The trip I’ve been marking the days until is finally here. Las Vegas. Viva, baby. Viva.
This is strictly an R&R trip for just me, myself and I. Will and the mister will have some father/son time while Mama regains some of her sanity. Going to hang out with friends, get a little culture and experience the wonderland that is Vegas.
So in the spirit of Liberace, Siegfried, Roy, Francis Albert and the rest of the Rats, Wayne, Sir Tom and Lola Falana, here’s my Thursday Thirteen: Vegas Style
1. These shoes are the centerpiece of my trip wardrobe: 2. I’ve downloaded the first six episodes of this season of Weeds onto my iPod for viewing on the plane. Gotta love technology.
3. The overnight bartender’s name at the hotel where we’re staying is Larry. Good to be on a first name basis with the dude who’s mixing your drinks. Don’t ask me how I know this.
4. Everything, with one exception, that I’m bringing with wardrobe wise, is black. Shocking.
5. Going to see two shows: Morris Day & The Time and The Regeneration Tour, which features a whole mess of ‘80s artists like Belinda Carlisle, Human League, ABC and A Flock of Seagulls.
6. Gonna get to meet some on-line Plurk pals (cajunvegan and perpstu and butterflylitgirl) and enjoy a cocktail or four together. Cannot wait.
7. I get a whole king-size bed and bathroom to myself. Don’t have to share with anyone. Pinch me, I’m dreaming.
8. Have reservations at two celeb chef eateries: Bobby Flay’s Mesa Grill and Tom Colicchio’s Craftsteak. No Nutri-Meals served at these joint, dontcha know.
9. The average temperature in my hotel room will be approximately 62 degrees. Bliss.
10. The average temperature outside my hotel will be approximately 105 degrees. Ick.
11. I get to spend the whole weekend with my BFF Sprezzatura. You’ve all been warned -- we’re dangerous together. But in a very cute, wickedly smart and sassy way.
12. I may or may not get up enough nerve (aka drunk) to sit down at a real poker table. We shall see.
13. I may or may not get up enough nerve (aka drunk) to go to a strip joint. We shall see.
Note: the chances of #13 happening are actually greater than #12.
So I’ll see y’all later. Probably poorer. Likely hungover. Definitely happy.
In keeping with my penchant for pop culture, today's Thursday Thirteen features a baker's dozen of my favorite movie quotes. Some are probably familiar; there may be a handful that aren't quite as well-known. The one thing they have in common is that I have whipped them out and dropped them into conversation more times than I can count.
So settle back into your reclining theater seat, take a hit off that ginormous soda you got roped into buying at the concession stand and take a trip though my cinematic history.
PS: the quotes are in chronological order. Asking me to pick a favorite is like asking the paparazzi to choose between Madge/A Rod/Guy and Sienna Miller making out with Balthazar Getty. Can't be done. No, I don't think I will kiss you, although you need kissing, badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how. ~ Rhett Butler (Clark Gable) in Gone with the Wind (1939)
Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain. ~ The Wizard of Oz (Frank Morgan) in The Wizard of Oz (1939)
You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and blow. ~ Marie (Lauren Bacall) in To Have and Have Not (1944)
Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death. ~ Mame (Rosalind Russell) in Auntie Mame (1958)
I've had hangovers before, but this time, even my hair hurts. ~ Brad Allen (Rock Hudson) in Pillow Talk (1959)
Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me, aren't you? ~ Benjamin Braddock (Dustin Hoffman) in The Graduate (1967)
I am the author. You are the audience. I outrank you! ~ Franz Liebkind (Kenneth Mars) in The Producers (1967)
The horror... the horror... ~ Colonel Kurtz (Marlon Brando) in Apocalypse Now (1979)
So I got that going for me, which is nice. ~ Carl Spackler (Bill Murray) in Caddyshack (1980)
It's such a fine line between stupid and clever. ~ David St. Hubbins (Michael McKean) in This Is Spinal Tap (1984)
Miss Truvy, I promise that my personal tragedy will not interfere with my ability to do good hair. ~ Annelle (Daryl Hannah) in Steel Magnolias (1989)
Wow, you've turned into a right sexy wee bastard. Do you know that? ~ May Mackenzie (Brenda Fricker) in So I Married an Axe Murderer (1993)
You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris?... They call it a Royale with cheese. — Vincent Vega (John Travolta) in Pulp Fiction (1994)
My Plurk Pal Perpstu shared this fun questionnaire thingy on her blog recently. And in a fit of unoriginality, I pilfered it for my own use. Imitation, flattery, yada yada yada. Plus it's a good one. So there you are.
1. What do you add to your coffee? A bit of sugar if it’s not good coffee, otherwise nothing. 2. What are you reading now? "Good in Bed" by Jennifer Weiner and "My Trip Down the Pink Carpet" by Leslie Jordan. 3. Do you own a gun? Hell no. 4. Are you registered to vote? You betcha. Never missed an election, either. 5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Terribly. 6. What do you think of hot dogs? Mmmm. Especially at the ball park with lots of sauerkraut. 7. Favorite Christmas song? "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" and "Angels We Have Heard On High." 8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Iced tea. I dig my caffeine cold, baby. 9. Can you do push ups? The modified way. Kinda. 10. What was the name of your first boyfriend/girlfriend? Steve. 11. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? My nana’s watch pendant. 12. Favorite hobby? Reading. Writing. Cooking. 13. Do you work with people who idolize you? Jeez, I hope not. 14. Do you have ADD? No, thankfully. That’s one thing I don’t wrestle with. 15. What’s one trait that you hate about yourself? How much time do you have... 16. What’s your middle name? Elizabeth 17. Name three thoughts at this exact moment. Damn mosquito is in here again. Is the laundry done. What am I doing up at this hour again. 18. Name three things you bought yesterday. Pair of shoes. Pair of jeans. Eyeshadow. 19. Name three beverages you regularly drink. Daisani. Iced Tea. Vodka. 20. Current worry right now? Again, how much time do you have... 21. What side do you dress to? Right. I think. 22. Favorite place to be? Manhattan. Or Captiva. 23. How did you bring in the New Year? On a cruise ship in the western Caribbean. 24. Where would you like to go? South America. 25. Name three people who will complete this. No telling. 26. Whose answers do you want to read the most? Everyone's! 27. What color shirt are you wearing? My red Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds t-shirt. 28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? Nope. Don’t like to slide when I sleep. 29. Can you whistle? Kinda. 30. Favorite color? Purple. 31. Could you be a pirate? Maybe -- if I could bathe regularly and my pirate ship was a luxury yacht. 32. What songs do you sing in the shower? The one place I don’t sing is the shower. 33. Favorite girls name? Lucy or Grace or Elizabeth. 34. Favorite boy’s name? William. 35. What’s in your pocket right now? Lint. 36. Last thing that made you laugh? A couple of text messages from Sprezzatura. 37. Best bed sheets as a child? My white with a big rainbow sheets. 38. Worst injury you’ve ever had? Tore every ligament in my left ankle in a high-impact aerobics class. Thought I had just sprained it so did two more classes that week before the pain was just too bad. Six weeks in an air splint. My ankle has never been quite the same. 39. Do you love where you live? I love my community -- it’s my hometown, after all. My house -- it’s ok. Waaaaay too small, though. 40. How many TVs do you have in your house? Two. 41. Who is your loudest friend? Heather. (I love you!) 42. How many dogs do you have? None. 43. Does anyone have a crush on you? I do believe so... 44. What are the most fun things you ever did? Pull up a chair... 45. What are your favorite books? "The Sun Also Rises"; "The Great Gatsby"; "One Hundred Years of Solitude"; anything by Jackie Collins; "Auntie Mame"; "Valley of the Dolls." 46. What is your favorite candy? Zero bar. Mmmm. 47. Favorite team? No way I can narrow this down: Florida Gators, Boston Celtics, Tampa Bay Rays, Tampa Bay Buccaneers 48. What songs do you want played at your funeral? "Amazing Grace"; "Great Is Thy Faithfulness." 49. What were you doing at 12 am? Sleeping, believe it or not. Alert the media. 50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? Gotta pee. (Sorry. They asked.)
In that spirit, here are thirteen of my favorite TV theme songs of all time, in no particular order. Feel free to sing along -- I am, dontcha know.
1. The Dick Van Dyke Show My favorite show probably of all time. Period. I still want to be Sally Rogers.
2. Gilligan’s Island My guiltiest pleasure. C’mon -- admit it. You know all the words to the theme song just like I do.
3. The Addams Family Will’s favorite on this list, thanks to it being part of a current M&Ms commercial.
4. The Jeffersons A must-request for me at any piano bar singalong place I go to. Trivia: the theme is sung by J’anet DuBois, better known as Willona from “Good Times.”
5. Sanford and Son Maybe the greatest sitcom theme ever. Written and performed by the inimitable Quincy Jones.
6. The Rockford Files A bad-ass theme for a bad-ass show. And add James Garner to the “damn, he’s hot list.” Whoa.
7. The Flintstones A classic from my childhood. I’ll still stop and watch this damn thing if I catch it while channel surfing.
8. The Lucy Show A staple of after-school TV watching. Adore this almost as much as “I Love Lucy”, thanks to Gale Gordon’s performance as Mr. Mooney.
9. The Monkees True confession: I was in love with Peter. Y’all can have Davy.
10. Ellery Queen My favorite drama as a kid. This show had waaaay too short a telly run -- smart and engaging and who doesn’t love a show set in ‘40s NYC. Someone PLEASE put this on DVD. Now.
11. Hawaii Five O It doesn’t get much better than this. Am doing the hula hip shake as we speak.
12. Green Acres My favorite of the crazy surreal CBS sitcoms of the late ‘60s. It still holds up well -- and who can resist Eva Gabor. Seriously.
13. Mad Men In honor of all its Emmy nominations today. Best show, along with “30 Rock” on television right now, as far as I’m concerned. The new season starts July 27th on AMC. Mark your calendars.
A whirling mini-dervish of braids and flails and smiles came roaring towards us, stopping just short of crashing into my non-plussed child.
"It's Willlllllll! Hiiiiiiiii Willlllll!"
Hug. Smother. Hug.
Ah yes. The unmistakable sign of summer love -- or at least summer school love.
Will has a female admirer -- his first of his own age. The lovely Kiki * (*not her real name -- I do have some standards, you know...) has taken a shine to my handsome man.
Sadly, though, it appears to be one-sided. He's not showing a lot of interest in Miss Kiki. Not that's dissuading her in the least.
Every time she comes and gives him a hug, he gets that "she's got cooties" look on his face -- that same look seen on playgrounds and in lunchrooms since the beginning of time.
It's not that Will doesn't like girls -- on the contrary. He's quite the flirtatious ladies man when he wants to be, looking coyly at the object of his affection (usually an older woman) and laughing in that way that smitten boys do. With Kiki -- nada. Nothing. Just that look of slight panic coupled with an eye roll.
I think Kiki may be coming on a bit too strong for him. Too open with her affection. She's darling -- always has the faintest scent of strawberries about her. And charmingly happy. Doesn't phase him a bit.
Haven't hit a TMI Tuesday in a while... so here goes nothing.
Me and the Seven Deadly Sins: A Tell-All
1. LUST: uncontrolled or illicit sexual desire or appetite; lecherousness.
Besides your current Significant Other who do you lust for or have you lusted for?
Heh. Heh. Heh.
In no particular order, here are the primary objects of my lustful affection:
Clooney
Baldwin, Alec
Copeland, Stewart
Noth, Chris
Scott, Campbell
Malkovich
See a pattern? Rowrrr.
2. GLUTTONY: excessive eating and drinking.
What food brings out your inner glutton? Beef. Rare, marbled, succulent beef. I am the OCG (Original Carnivore Girl) Also adore all the accompaniments that traditionally go along with this: baked potato, creamed spinach, onions and mushrooms, bread, red wine. Decadent and divine.
3. GREED:excessive or rapacious desire, esp. for wealth or possessions.
What are you greedy for? I’ve given this some thought. And I honestly cannot think of anything I’m specifically greedy for... however, that’s not to say that I’m greed-free. I will be the first to tell you I have diva-tendencies. I like top shelf stuff. Not so much with the labels in clothing and cars and such. But I’m all about quality. Liquor. Personal care products (I will not tell you how much my shampoo costs... suffice it to say that it’s substantial. But my hair looks great.) Food. The latest and greatest books or music. Gotta have it. Gimme gimme gimme.
4. SLOTH: habitual disinclination to exertion; indolence; laziness.
What is your plan for an ideal day of sloth? This is too easy. Staying in pajamas all day long. Having breakfast, lunch and dinner delivered. Watching movies on the telly. Reading a bit. Naps. Lots of naps. A bubble bath. Doing nothing constructive for myself or mankind.
Describe a time that you let out a can of whoop ass on someone. Honestly, I cannot remember the last time I got really wrathfully angry. That’s probably not such a bad thing. I’m more one for pet peeves and issues and indirect anger... which right now is mostly directed in this area. And let's just leave it at that -- there's plenty there for the moment.
6. ENVY:a feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another's advantages, success, possessions, etc.
Who or what do you envy? Why? Man, this is a tough one. But here goes...
I love my child more than anything on this earth. Totally. I love who he is and who he is becoming, little by little, step by step.
But I’d be lying if I told you that there weren’t days when I wished with all my heart that he could have just a bit of time as a standard issue kid, with no health problems or developmental delays. I’m envious of those families who don’t have to deal with the situations we do.
Who are typical.
Who don’t have to worry about neurological complications every time their kiddo falls and bumps his head or acts a little out-of-the-ordinary.
Who can have a meal time as a family without special accommodations.
Who can carry on regular conversations with their kids.
Who can watch their children play happily and freely without assistance.
Who don’t know the inside workings of the hospital like the back of their hand.
Who have a child for whom milestones come easily and naturally and without effort.
I envy parents who don't have the struggles we do. And I envy, on behalf of my beautiful brave boy, children who are having typical childhoods.
My normal is my normal. I’m used to it. I accept it. It’s who I am in this world. And that’s fine. I know that nothing’s perfect and that every individual has quirks and issues. But just once, just for a little while, I’d like to try on someone else’s normal. The more standard issue version of normal. Me and Will and our family. All of us. Just to be regular folks for a bit. See what that feels like.
I hate that I have these feelings. Hate it. Hate. It. Am crying even as I write this.
But there you are. Me at my most human.
7. PRIDE: a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc.
What are you proud of? Ah, pride. My biggest bugaboo. I’m a weird bird in this area-- I have challenging and ongoing self-esteem issues, especially with body image and personality, coupled with a very proud nature when it comes to matters of intelligence. How’s that for complicated.
Ugh. My therapist certainly earns his keep in my life, dontcha know.
I could go on and on here. But I won't. I think I’m finished with this little exercise. It's exhausting. And enlightening. And me at my most basic. Warts and all.
(I need some cheering up... so here’s a little clip of the incomparable Fats Waller with “It’s A Sin to Tell a Lie.” It works with the theme. And it’s wonderful. Does the trick.)
I get really irritated with the increasingly common deployment of terms traditionally used (offensive as they are) to describe people with developmental disabilities as insults or put downs.
Retarded. ‘Tard. Short bus.
Using the Special Olympics as an illustration of something negative or demeaning.
For example, check out this sentence I just read recently on a blog: "Picking a fight on the internet is like running in the Special Olympics, win or lose, you're still retarded."
So. Offensive.
Pisses. Me. Off.
Seriously. Few things make me more angry than this shit.
I know I’m hyper-sensitive because of Will’s situation and the worlds in which we predominantly travel -- the community of kids with special needs. My little guy is developmentally delayed. He’s bright (sometimes too much for his own good...) but has problems with communications. And is behind, age-wise, with his skill sets. We have no idea what his prognosis will be -- he’s made such fantastic progress and I continue to fervently believe his possibilities are endless. Regardless... these slams, such as they are, hit a little too close to home for me.
(If you're curious about Will or are bored or are looking for a cure for insomina, check out The Will Chronicles, my blog posts about his -- and my -- crazy life journey. Scroll all the way down to the end to catch the wackiness from the beginning...)
Anyhoo.
I prefer to think that people use these terms as put-downs more out of ignorance than anything. They’re really not processing the full impact of what they’re saying. And again, keep in mind that my intolerance for such things is heightened because of the way my life works.
But the cavalier way in which these things are said bothers me. Really bothers me. I feel like it’s my responsibility to stand up for those in whose name the insults are being tossed and say...
"Do you have any idea what you just said? Please stop.Now."
I’ve even corrected friends of mine who said something -- without thinking -- in this vein in front of me. Can you say awkward? But I made my point.
Guess what? That kind of talk = not funny. In the slightest.
And it’s egregiously detrimental to the image, both externally and within individuals, of a segment of society that has a hard enough time just being accepted for who they are.
So -- please think before you speak. There are plenty of other words one can hurl in insult or teasing... just consult your local thesaurus. Or ask me.
Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons. You will find it is to the soul what a water bath is to the body. ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes
Here are thirteen tunes just right for a refreshing music bath. They're all faves of mine -- and there's a good chance you might discover something new amidst the song bubbles:
Today's Word of the Day on dictionary.com was just too delicious to resist.
troglodyte (TROG-luh-dyt)
noun: 1. A member of a primitive people that lived in caves, dens, or holes; a cave dweller. 2. One who is regarded as reclusive, reactionary, out of date, or brutish.
When I saw the word -- and even before I thought of a way to work it into my vocab today -- I was reminded of this gem from my youth. The video is hysterical, the song, a classic '70s funk groove.
The primary endearing quality of this song, to a tween-ager, was, of course, Bertha Butt. The very mention of whom caused gales of laughter to ring out across playgrounds everywhere. Listening to the song for the first time in forever, I'm struck by how much Bertha sounds like Geraldine.
And now this post has evolved from an English vocab lesson to a glimpse into my childhood... explains a lot, doesn't it.
I have just returned from another exciting journey to the grocery store.
Alert the media.
I did, however, glean something unusual from this particular trip -- did you know that you can get a little mini-workout while shopping for foodstuffs and other items? Guess what -- you can!
Here's what I was able to accomplish in just 15 short minutes:
The Grocery Cart Pull Involves: trying to dislodge a cart from the cart coral when all the ones on the end are stuck somehow and won't move easily.
Works: shoulders and pecs The Grocery Cart Steer Involves: working really hard to keep your cart, which has a wonky wheel, from rolling completely askew down the aisles.
Works: pecs and biceps
The Duck and Cover Sprint Involves: quickly maneuvering your cart into an aisle so as not to be seen by someone whom you do not wish to encounter. This is critical to master when you are not looking your best or are in a hurry and have no time to chit-chat. Both are options which I field on a regular basis. Other possibilities which can trigger the Duck and Cover Sprint include people you don't like or friends of your parents with whom you feel obligated to speak because you are mannerly that way.
Note that the number of times you will do the Duck and Cover Sprint is proportional to how badly you are dressed. The worse you look, the odds of seeing lots of people you know greatly increases.
Good for: quick cardio burst; flexibility
The Top Shelf Dairy Case Reach Involves: standing on tippy-toe to try and reach the last two raspberry yogurts which are against the back wall of the obscenely deep dairy case because your child seems to only like raspberry yogurt this week and you are tired of meal time battles. The yogurt sale sign (2o for $9!) may also be deployed as the arm-lengthener to help reach said items.
Good for: calves and shins; balance; patience
The Medium-Weight Paper Bag Schlep Involves: trying to balance carrying in handle-less paper grocery bags into the house without tearing the bag or damaging the items inside, while maneuvering house keys and a ringing cell phone.
Good for: dexterity
I am sure there are countless more exercises one could do on a jaunt through the market -- the possibilities are endless.
Just another day in domestic paradise 'round here.
(Pssst... for more musical musings, check out Soccer Mom in Denial. You'll be glad you did!)
I have a new piece of workout equipment at my disposal -- roller skates. That's right.
Roller skates.
And not those new-fangled, fancy pants inline jobs either.
Mine are four-on-the-floor, old school quads, baby. Just right for a chick like me.
Haven't skated in years. But I always dug it. A lot. And was pretty good, if I do say so myself. Not much for the backwards stuff or anything really fancy. But I could zip around the rink with ease and lead a damn fine skate conga line. Wheeeee!
The days of afterschool skating parties and all night skates are gone -- even my childhood rink, the unfortunately yet fabulously names Gay Blades, is but a memory.
But I'm hoping to capture some of that youthful vigor and concept of exercise-is-fun when I lace up my skates and roll on down the road. Can't hurt to try -- unless I wipe out. So keep your fingers crossed.
And enjoy this little ditty, also from my youth. Roll on, y'all.
O beautiful for spacious skies, For amber waves of grain, For purple mountain majesties Above the fruited plain! America! America! God shed his grace on thee And crown thy good with brotherhood From sea to shining sea!
O beautiful for pilgrim feet Whose stern impassioned stress A thoroughfare of freedom beat Across the wilderness! America! America! God mend thine every flaw, Confirm thy soul in self-control, Thy liberty in law!
O beautiful for heroes proved In liberating strife. Who more than self their country loved And mercy more than life! America! America! May God thy gold refine Till all success be nobleness And every gain divine!
O beautiful for patriot dream That sees beyond the years Thine alabaster cities gleam Undimmed by human tears! America! America! God shed his grace on thee And crown thy good with brotherhood From sea to shining sea!
4. I am, at heart, and most everywhere else, a pack rat. My motto: I might need that sometime... the people at eBay send out a search party if I go a day without a visit. Yet I don't like garage/yard sales... weird.
5. I have the man-like ability to walk right by a full trash can and not think about doing anything about it. It’s a gift, I tell you.
6. I have gone and bought new underwear rather than doing laundry.
7. I have killed more herbs in the name of growing them myself than I can count. I’ve seen basil plants commit suicide when they see me coming, just to end things quickly and less painfully.
8. Will famously listens to and consequently sings terribly inappropriate songs -- on pitch, thank you very much. Current favorite song: Pete Townshend's "Slit Skirts." Told you.
9. I rarely, if ever, completely make my bed. It’s my favorite place to read/watch the telly/do my nails/take a nap/talk on the phone. If my WiFi ever reached through my thick plaster walls to the bedroom, I would never leave. I’d have to hire someone to come in and turn me so I wouldn’t get bedsores. Seriously.
10. I have worn bathing suit bottoms when I have run out of clean underwear. Not recently, mind you -- in college. But still.
11. Cereal for dinner? Great! Cap’n Crunch cereal for dinner? Even better!
12. Will’s favorite TV channels: Disney and Game Show Network. “Oooh -- it’s time for Card Sharks!”
13. The only reason I haven't lost this list is because it's saved in cyberspace. If it were a hard copy, then chances are I'd be frantically looking for it right now.
If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door, greet him with, "Who could have done this? We have no enemies." ~ Phyllis Diller
I'm taking my blog entry about the day Will was born and tinker-tailoring it to be a standalone essay. At least that's my plan at the moment.
I'm determined this time to make good on my self-promise to see where this writing thing can take me. No distractions or diversions. *knock on wood* Hopefully no bouts of self-doubt or talking myself into believing I don't have the goods to follow my heart's passion for words.
I have a deadline: 11:59 pm, September 9, 2008. That's totally attainable. Provided I don't kamikaze my own damn self.
So here it is -- out there in print for the world (or the handful of y'all who read my blatherings) to see. Feel free to gently nag and ask how things are going -- that will be enough to trigger my finely tuned sense of self-guilt and get me moving if I've stalled.
This task I'm attempting may not seem big in the overall scheme of things as far as becoming a serious writer/author chick. But it's a step (with prize money involved!) And it's something I'm doing for myself. Which really ain't easy for me. But I believe it's necessary. And that's a step forward in itself.
Here goes. I'll keep you posted. Promise. I think.
While on holiday, in between cooking and naps and swimming and naps and novel reading and naps and playing Guitar Hero, I was able to peruse some of my back issues of Vanity Fair. One of my favorite parts of the mag can be found on the very last page: The Proust Questionnaire.
The Proust Questionnaire has its origins in a parlor game popularized (though not devised) by Marcel Proust, the French essayist and novelist, who believed that, in answering these questions, an individual reveals his or her true nature. Each month, a person of notoriety answers a subset of these questions, often with very revealing and witty candor.
In that spirit, I thought I might take a stab at the questions myself... and invite y'all to do the same. It'll be our brush with literary greatness for the day.
What is your idea of perfect happiness? Requited, brilliantly-timed love.
What is your current state of mind? Percolating with creative anticipation. Time to get serious.
What is your greatest fear? Losing a child. Losing my sense of self. Snakes.
Which historical figure do you most identify with? Dorothy Parker.
Who are your favorite fictional heroes? Scarlett O’Hara. Mrs. Calabash.
Who are your heroes in real life? My kiddo.
What talent would you most like to have? To be able to tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue. And to be able to really, seriously dance -- tap or jazz.
Who are your favorite writers? Ernest Hemingway, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Raymond Carver, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Jackie Collins Who or what is the greatest love of your life? My kiddo, Master Will.
What are your most marked characteristics? My laugh, my literal and figurative tongue, my naturally curly hair.
What are the traits you most deplore in yourself? My rampant insecurity coupled with my ego-centric stubborn pride. Dangerous combo.
What are the traits you most dislike in others? Pretentiousness, close-mindedness, bigotry, lack of a sense of humor. What are your greatest extravagances? Books, MAC lipglass, expensive hair care products and top shelf liquor.
What do you most dislike about your appearance? My abundance of cushioned curvature in my lower body. On what occasion do you lie? When I’m afraid of disappointing someone with either my actions or my inactions.
Which words or phrases do you most overuse? Seriously. Y’all. Seriously. Shit. Seriously. What is your favorite swear word? Shit. Duh.
What do you consider your greatest achievement so far? My kiddo, Master Will.
If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be? An otter. Life is a constant party for those rascals.
What is your motto? “’Tis better to ask forgiveness than permission.”
The trip I’ve been marking the days until is finally here. Las Vegas. Viva, baby. Viva.
4. Everything, with one exception, that I’m bringing with wardrobe wise, is black. Shocking.
8. Have reservations at two celeb chef eateries: Bobby Flay’s Mesa Grill and Tom Colicchio’s Craftsteak. No Nutri-Meals served at these joint, dontcha know.
12. I may or may not get up enough nerve (aka drunk) to sit down at a real poker table. We shall see.
