Welcome to the better late than never edition of Meme Monday. Perfect for reading when you need something mindless right before bed...
This edition is the second part/continuation from last week's question. The place where I found stole these questions from broke it down into more digestible bites to prolong the fascination. Enjoy. Or whatever.
34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF YOUR HOME COUNTRY?
Yeppers. Been to all the other countries in North America and a couple of spots in the Caribbean.
35. WEAKNESSES?
A smart funny man with facial hair and a hairy chest. Oh, you mean my personal weaknesses… I’m terribly insecure and wear my heart not just on my sleeve but pinned to the front of my chest. Plus I can rarely resist a good semi-intelligent chick flick and anything caramel. And I'm terribly competitive with anything of the cerebral nature.
37. FIRST JOB?
Other than babysitting, I was a professional gift wrapper at a small gift shop during the holidays. Great gig. Still can wrap a package with precision and no extra paper!
38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
As a chick who grew up in the heyday of slumber parties when such things as caller ID were a mere glint in some inventor’s eye – what do you think?
By the way, do you have Prince Albert in a can?
39. DO YOU THINK EVERYONE OUT THERE HAS A SOUL MATE?
Indeed. Sometimes more than one during different phases in life.
40. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU DID THIS MEME?
Dishes. Domestic goddess stuff. Living the dream.
41. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY?
I have. Wisdom teeth and some lady-stuff surgery – oh! LASIK too!
42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
My hair. My skin. My smile. *blush *
43. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES?
Yes – about 18 months back in my youth. Ugh.
44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Let me get back to you on that one. It’s a ways-away.
45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT AND WHAT DO YOU WANT THEIR NAMES TO BE? (OR IF YOU HAVE KIDS, TELL US ABOUT THEM.)
I have one – the infamous Young William. Please read The Will Chronicles to find out more about my boy.
If Will had been a girl, I’d have named him Lucy or Kathryn, Kate for short.
46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
The Name That Was The Bane of My Youthful Existence is a family name – my nana’s middle name. We had a family friend (who was a little kooky, come to think of it) who believed until her deathbed I was named after her. That kind of works, too, actually.
47. WHAT IS THE BIGGEST TURN OFF OF THE SEX(ES) YOU'RE ATTRACTED TO?
Arrogance. Lack of relative intuitiveness. Stubbornness.
48. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU LIKED ABOUT HIGH SCHOOL?
The fact that my HS was so small that I was able to dabble somewhat successfully in a lot of extra-curricular activities.
49. WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE?
Alterna Caviar. I am a real diva when it comes to my hair.
50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
No. It’s horrible. Sometimes I cannot even figure out what I wrote.
51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Roast beef. What?
52. ANY BAD HABITS?
How much time do you have…
53. ARE YOU A JEALOUS PERSON?
More an insecure person than anything – which can bleed into jealousy.
54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
I’d like to think so. I’m tough to get to know and like Popeye, I am who I am. Love me or not.
55. DO YOU AGREE WITH FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS?
If I were single…
56. DO LOOKS MATTER?
To some, yes. I prefer the character of a person and the brain. That gray matter is my first interest in a person. Always.
57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?
I’m working on healthy ways to do this. The Trainer is having me start to do some boxing exercises. That worked this morning…
58. WOULD YOU RATHER GAIN 58 POUNDS OR LOSE 58 POUNDS?
Lose. Please. From your mouth to my tuchus and core…
59. WHAT'S YOUR MAIN GOAL IN LIFE?
To ensure that Will maximizes his potential and has a happy, healthy life.
60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
I loved my Mrs. Beasley doll (from Family Affair) until my brother, who hated her, broke her ability to talk. Still pissed to this day. Also loved my Barbies and my Spirograph. Plus my set of supermarket encyclopedias, which I read cover-to-cover one summer.
61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE?
Let’s go with 37. I’m too lazy to count.
62. WERE YOU A FAN OF BARNEY AS A LITTLE KID?
When Barney was in his heyday, I was substantially older than the age of his target demographic. But even if I was a little kid, I would have hated him.
63. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
Have we just met?
64. MASHED POTATOES OR MACARONI AND CHEESE?
Mac & cheese, baby.
65. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
JJ, Mama, Girlie, Miss Janey, Will’s Mom
66. FAVORITE SUPER POWER?
I’d like the ability to run really really fast. My tuchus would be a whole lot smaller as a result. Second place: invisibility. Just because.
We've all taken them. The Personality Test. I've filled out so many of these bloody things over the years that I've lost count.
This one is a little different. It's a whirly spin on the ubiquitous Myers-Briggs test. Here's the scoop on me:
Your Score: Scumbag- ENFP
60% Extraversion, 60% Intuition, 33% Thinking, 46% Judging
I have a feeling you're not going to like this much. Do I care? No.
How do I know? It's because you hate criticism. You love to be loved and you'll do anything to be accepted.
Unfortunately for you, I can see right through your insincere compliments and over-the-top greetings. No matter what you do, I'll always hate you for what you are. An arrogant, unstable, overly enthusiastic scumbag.
I bet you're pretty proud of your accomplishments, huh? You seem to achieve at whatever you put your little mind too. Trust me. Nobody likes the person who is good at everything. NOBODY LIKES YOU.
This might also have something to do with the fact that you're a cheating machine. You're just not the type of person to make long-term commitments. You enjoy seeing "what could be", rather than being satisfied with "what is." This, of course, means you often leave others in the dust while you seek out another lover.
Well, at least you're not the one left in the dust.
Unfortunately, when you're the one lying in the gutter with a bloody knife in your back, you might think differently.
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If you want to learn more about your personality type in a slightly less negative way, check out this.
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The other personality types are as follows...
Loner - Introverted Sensing Feeling Perceiving
Pushover - Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging
Criminal - Introverted Sensing Thinking Perceiving
Borefest - Introverted Sensing Thinking Judging
Almost Perfect - Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving
Freak - Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging
Loser - Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Perceiving
Crackpot - Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging
Clown - Extraverted Sensing Feeling Perceiving
Sap - Extraverted Sensing Feeling Judging
Commander - Extraverted Sensing Thinking Perceiving
Do Gooder - Extraverted Sensing Thinking Judging
Busybody - Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging
Prick - Extraverted iNtuitive Thinking Perceiving
Dictator - Extraverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging
| Link: The Brutally Honest Personality Test written by UltimateMaster on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test
View My Profile(UltimateMaster) So -- what kind of skewed personality do you have? Pony up and share, won't you... |
My pal over at In My Copious Free Time features a fun little exercise on her blog today -- it's perfect for a great laid-back Saturday post...
1. What celebrity do you think is the MOST foolish?
Those boneheads on shows like Jersey Shore and Laguna Beach and The City and blah blah blah. Grow up. Take some responsibility for your life. Shut up. Listen. Put down the cocktail glass. WALK AWAY FROM THE CAMERAS. Grow up.
2. What are 5 things you don't care about?
NASCAR
The Kardashians
Anything that has to do with space/NASA (SO not my thing... yeah. I know.)
Twilight
X-Box, PS3 and all that stuff
(Yikes. Does this mean I’m old?)
3. What 'issue' do you think your opinion is so right about that you end up trying to sway others to your point of view?
That Dick York really was the better Darrin.
And the importance of the separation of church and state.
4. What personality do you like to listen to on the radio?
Hmmm. Truth be told, I am a music-on-the-radio girl through and through. But I will have to say I enjoy listening to my pal Lynne Austin (you probably know her as The Original Hooters Girl) do her thing on the local Hooters Nation Morning Show on the drive taking Will to school. Always unpredictable and wonderfully entertaining. Plus she’s a really swell person. And great to go to a baseball game with.
5. What culture are you fascinated by?
Cuban culture. Here in my neck of the woods, there are a lot of Cuban-Americans and native-born Cubans and while they have graciously shared their cuisine, there is still more about their culture I’d like to know. My grandparents (as you may or may not know) spent summers in Havana in the ‘20s and ‘30s, whetting my curiosity even more.
6. You are alone with your lover's diary. What do you do?
Roll over and go back to sleep. His business, not mine.
7. What frustrates you?
Closed minded individuals who listen but don’t hear and talk but don’t speak.
8. Do you remember the first time you were on the internet? What did you do first?
It was in 1995. And I think I checked the features of AOL. I can still hear the screeeech of the modem doing its thing even now.
9. What was the biggest fight you have ever had with someone?
Can’t remember the issue but I know it was with the mister.
We have met the enemy and they is us.
~ Pogo
Muse. Muse. Muse.
Ponder. Ponder. Ponder.
I’ve been mulling, nay marinating, on something for quite a while now.
You know, it’s kind of a weird time here in the old U S of A. There’s a lot going on. A lot.
Everyone has an opinion. Which is great. It’s what this country was built on. Although I am dean of the school of thought that says you only get to voice said opinion if you vote, but that’s another rant for another time.
But. And with any good rant, there’s always a “but”… the way these opinions are being expressed isn’t quite as great, at least from where I’m sitting.
We are, y’all, a nation divided at the moment. Left. Right. Liberal. Conservative. Republican. Democrat. The Great Divide runs right down the middle of the Canyon of Ideology. And it’s getting wider and wider with each passing day and with each refreshing of your Twitter feed.
Civilization is a method of living and an attitude of equal respect for all people.
I'm not concerned with your liking or disliking me... All I ask is that you respect me as a human being.
As a reasonably aware person – I try to keep up as much as my crazy life will allow – I know that politics as usual these days is an intense place to be. The immediacy of the way we communicate allows voices to be heard, information to be shared, action to be taken – all fused with intelligence and passion. What’s missing, as I see it?
Respect. And hearing. Not just listening – but hearing.
I have a behavioral meme I run with my Choir Urchins at least three times during a rehearsal period – I call it a Gimme Five. When Miss Janey says “Gimme Five”, that means she wants looking eyes, listening ears, quiet mouths, hands to yourself, feet on the floor.
We could all use a Gimme Five moment, y'all. Sooner, rather than later.
Because right now, we’re mired in the muck of disrespect. Closed-mindedness. And not hearing anything but what we want to hear – which is most likely a parroting of our own deeply held views.
It’s not getting us anywhere. Anywhere productive, anyhoo.
It’s been about talk. Not so much about action.
Vitriolic language is bantered about to make points. It’s become sport.
Guess what?
Incendiary language doesn’t put food on a table.
Snarky 140 character blips don’t help a family facing a mountain of medical bills and a moat of insurance issues
Divisive comments don’t get that guy off the unemployment line and onto the route to having a job. And feeling good about himself.
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words take up residence. Bones heal. Takes a lot more to evict words that hurt or sting.
Lest you think I’m merely pontificating from up here on my soapbox… I’m not innocent. I own my culpability in this one. I can wield my tongue with a sharp snarkiness that points and pokes. I watched the war of words and worlds escalate on social media between ideological opposites immediately following the Tucson shootings. When pointing fingers took president over concern for the injured, I vowed to curb it. Reel it in.
It’s damaging. It’s ridiculous.
Most of all -- it’s not productive.
And above all, I’m about things that are productive.
Somewhere, somehow, in a world when we know about news almost before it happens and the court of public opinion is fluid and viral and fickle -- we’ve lost sight of what matters.
Making a positive difference.
The art of compromise.
The impact of collaboration.
Respect.
Humanity.
People.
The seduction of a soundbite or a re-tweet is palpable. And like it or not, pundits have solidified their place in our society where processing news filtered through ideological cheesecloth is a national pastime. However, said pundits have a tendency to become the news themselves (Mr. Olbermann and Ms. Palin, I’m looking at both of you…) further muddling the real issues.
We’re going to have our fair share of such things in the next few days, as the President delivers the State of the Union address tonight. I’m thinking about watching it on C-SPAN, for as dry as that might be (it’s Sahara dust bowl dry, y’all), it’s the message straight up. With no chaser, left right or center.
When all is said and done, the one thing that cannot be disputed (and should never be disputed. Ahem.) is that everyone, in his or her own way, loves this country. Just as it’s no one’s place to pass judgment on whether another person is religious-enough, it’s no one’s place to judge whether another person is patriotic-enough.
And PS: all those folks who look at things differently than you – they are not bad people. They are not stereotypes. They are individuals. Part of the whole. And they should be respected and treated as such.
This land really is our land, my fellow Americans – from California to the New York Island. Working together to make it the best place it can be would do more to honor the intent and action of our founding fathers than any amount of spewing rhetoric could dream of doing.
I’m ready. Are you?
So let us begin anew—remembering on both sides that civility is not a sign of weakness, and sincerity is always subject to proof. Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate...
...Let both sides explore what problems unite us instead of belaboring those problems which divide us...
...And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country.
~ President John F. Kennedy
It's Monday. It's a Meme. It's Meme Monday.
How's that for a logical deduction. By the way -- feel free to steal this little exercise for your own use if you are so inclined. I'd love to know more about y'all!
The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
~ Dr. Seuss
Picture it. Spring semester, senior year in college. Day two of a three-day all nighter. Senior magazine project due in 36 hours. Oral Spanish exam to be taken in 38 hours. Thus the reason for the lack of sleep. Back in those days, when dinosaurs roamed the earth and journalism students wrote stories on electric typewriters, we did such projects by hand. With rub on letters and rubber cement (which would provide a nice buzz after prolonged exposure in a small room) and X-acto knives. While working on my magazine sitting on the floor of my room in the sorority house, I dropped the X-acto knife onto my barefoot, making a nifty little slash across my right pinky toe. Undeterred, I found a band-aid, patched up my war wound and kept right on designing.
Got an A on that project, thank you very much.
2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM
Right now, just paint. Even after being in the new house almost a year, we’ve still yet to hang any pictures. Yeah. I know.
3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP?
True confession: I snore. Yay sinuses! I’m completely and utterly embarrassed by this, but it is what it is.
4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
Save for contemporary country, rap and any metal that’s thrashy or deathy, I’ll listen to just about anything.
5. WHAT TIME WERE YOU BORN?
7:30 am
6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
Tangibly - a turkey sausage egg white flatbread from Dunkin’ Donuts. Less tangibly – to be a better friend to those around me.
7. WHAT DO YOU MISS?
The spark and lightness I had before Will was born. My carefree nature. How’s that for something on the serious side.
8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION(S)?
My child. Does he count?
9. HOW TALL ARE YOU?
5’6”, give or take some fractions/depending on the volume of my hair.
10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
No I don’t, come to think of it.
11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
Nope. Not really.
12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
My child.
13. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
That Will will die young. Wow. It’s just out there now, isn’t it.
Why are these questions so damn serious? Oy.
14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON PEOPLE YOU'RE ATTRACTED TO?
Dark hair. Brown eyes.
15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF PROPOSING?
Please. I’m leaving this here because I’m too lazy to remove and renumber the questions.
16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK?
Coffee of the two. But iced tea if I must caffeine.
17. FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?
Sausage and onions.
18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Cheeseburger, rare. With mayonnaise and grilled onions. Fries on the side. And a cold beer.
19. FAVORITE COLOR OF ALL TIME?
Purple
20. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A GOLDFISH?
Not to my knowledge
21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST MEANINGFUL GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED?
I received Roget’s Thesaurus as an 8th grade graduation gift from a very dear friend of the family. That book, more than any other, has served me well for over 30 years. It is coffee-stained with grease marks made by late-night pizza covered fingers. I still have it – it has a place on my desk, next to my college dictionary and high school grammar book. I may be buried with this book.
22. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?
But of course I do…
23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
Yep. My pinky fingers are double jointed. That’s the reason I’m not a jazz pianist today. My story and I’m sticking to it.
24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?
Hmmmm. I rather like DKNY, if I have to pick just one.
25. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE FEMALE/MALE CELEBRITY?
Female: Helen Mirren and Diane Keaton. Both Women of a Certain Age. Both relevant. Both always interesting.
Male: Jon Hamm. Because I love him. And James Franco. Because I find him fascinating. Dude marches to his own drummer and what a beat he’s keeping. I cannot wait to see what he’s up to next.
26. DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW?
No I don’t. I’d love a kitty witty, but…
27. WHAT KIND IS IT?
See #26
28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
Yes. How could you help yourself if you were falling… I’m not wired to turn that particular emotion on and off.
30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED?
A number from one to a hundred.
Let’s also go with 27.
31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
Brunettes. Every time. Every single time. And if it’s a brunette with more than a touch of grey… swoon.
32. FAVORITE QUOTE?
What I really wanted was to have a job like Darrin Stephens on 'Bewitched', where you could be creative all the time.
~ Edie Brickell
I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. ~Mother Teresa
33. FAVORITE PLACE?
It’s a toss-up. My vacation house on Captiva Island. Or Manhattan. Very different. But both feed my soul.
I love magazines. Like really love magazines. If I told you the number of magazines to which i subscribe, you'd either be shocked or impressed or a little of both. And yes, I do try to recycle and/or pass them on when I'm finish. I'm nothing if not an environmental reader.
The magazine to which I have subscribed the longest -- 25 years -- won't surprise you. It's Bon Appetit. My mother "took" it when I was a kid -- although I'm not sure she ever really read it. That was mostly because once the postie dropped it in the mailbox, I snatched it out and took it to my room where i poured over every detail, clipping recipes my 12-year-old self thought looked interesting. An obsession was born.
Cut to the current February 2011 issue. While flipping through it casually -- there's a feature on braising, y'all! -- I noticed an ad from Sugar in the Raw that featured perhaps the best recipe I've ever seen. I think I want to marry whoever came up with this. Genius. (As always, your milage may vary.)
Can't find the ad on the web anywhere yet -- but here's a transcription. See what you think...
Cocoa Brownies to Heal a Heart Broken by a Man Who Promises it Wasn’t You, It was Him, and by Him He Means a Girl Named Stacey Lee.
Count the years you dated. If it exceeds 5, double the recipe.
Oven, 350. 8″ pan, greased.
In a bowl: 1/2 cup unsalted butter, melted. Not margarine, butter. Diet starts tomorrow. 1 cup all natural Sugar in The Raw. You can sub 1/2 cup zero calorie Stevia Extract In The Raw with 1/2 cup Sugar In The Raw but a time like this calls for the good ol’ stuff.
Mix, then add 1/2 cup flour. It’s ok, today calls for carbs. 1 tsp of baking powder. Wonder what it does? Don’t. Just add it.
3 eggs, yolks and all, 1 tsp of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup Dutch cocoa powder, 1 cup chopped walnuts.
If music be the food of love, play on
~ Shakespeare, Twelfth Night
Ally McBeal considered it.
Carol Burnett had a very famous one.
So did Lucille Ball. And Mary Tyler Moore.
A personal theme song.
And while those ladies of the small screen had songs that were associated with their programs on the telly, the lyrics, when you think about it, were fairly personal and descriptive.
There was a commercial a couple of years ago for some product or other that featured a man who had another dude that walked behind him, pulling a wagon carrying a boom box that played his personal theme song. Loved it. Not only for the humor value but because I’m enough of a diva to consider doing something like that.
A theme song should serve a couple of purposes, the way I see it. First, it should be a song YOU love. Not like, not tolerate, not think is just so-so. LOVE.
Second, it should be a song whose lyrics – and even the melody – should represent some part, some essence of you.
A song that makes you feel good.
Gives you confidence.
Lifts your spirits.
Highlights your bodaciousness.
So, my bodacious sistahs – this week, we all want to know what your personal theme song is… and why you chose it. Why it speaks to you and for you. How it makes you feel.
Remember what the late great Mama Cass said…
You gotta make your own kind of music
Sing your own special song
Make your own kind music
Even if nobody else sings along
There’s one difference though – I bet you’ll have lot of us (me to begin with) singing right along with you.
So let’s hear it y’all – sing it loud. Sing it proud.
It’s all about you.
Yep, it's that's time again, boys and girls, for the weekly roundup of completely useless, sometimes ridiculous, always entertaining facts about me, your erstwhile blogger.
Pay attention -- there may be a quiz later ;-)
1. What do you add to your coffee?
Not a morning coffee drinker – I prefer my caffeine cold. But when I do have coffee, it’s usually after a really nice dinner. And I take it black.
2. What are you reading now?
Re-reading Anne Lamont’s Bird by Bird and Rory Noland’s The Heart of the Artist. Getting in that creative frame of mine.
3. Do you own a gun?
No. No. No. Never. Not my thing in any way, shape or form.
4. Are you registered to vote?
Absolutely – have been since two days before my 18th birthday.
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
Does the sun rise in the east and set in the west?
6. What do you think of hot dogs?
All beef with ketchup and kraut only.
7. Favorite Christmas Song?
Secular: “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”
Sacred: “And the Glory of the Lord” from Handel’s Messiah. It’s got a killer alto part.
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Water/FRS lo cal wild berry. And PS: I was drinking FRS looooong before Lance and Tim started pimping it. That stuff works. Seriously.
9. Can you do push ups?
Yep. Can you?
10. What was the name of your first boyfriend/girlfriend?
Pretend: David (Cassidy)
Real: Steve
11. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry?
My Tiffany ball earrings. Go with everything.
12. Favorite hobby?
Probably cooking. There’s always something new to do with it – and the products (when done well) make people happy.
13. Do you work with people who idolize you?
Heh.
14. Do you have ADD?
No I do… ooooh look! Shiny!
15. What’s one trait that you hate about yourself?
I am extraordinarily disorganized and without a neat gene.
16. What’s your middle name?
The birth certificate lists it as Elizabeth, but I use the maiden name these days.
17. Name three thoughts at this exact moment.
* Is Will going to muck with the washing machine again this afternoon.
* I really need to find something for lunch that doesn’t involve the words cheese or burger
* God bless America, I’m tired from this morning’s workout.
18. Name three things you bought yesterday.
* A vintage matchbook from a favorite childhood restaurant here in the ‘Burg
* A Bible app for my iPad
* Workout clothes
19. Name three beverages you regularly drink.
* Daisani
* Iced tea
* Red wine
20. Current worry right now?
Getting Will through current and potential ear infection issues as unscathed as possible until he goes in for the surgical exploratory thing in late February.
21. What side do you dress to?
Moving on… (obviously, this is a question directed towards the opposite sex. But it amuses me, so I left it in…)
22. Favorite place to be?
Either floating in a lovely large body of water (salt or fresh, matters not) or in Manhattan.
23. How did you bring in the New Year?
At home, watching some celebration from Times Square on the telly.
24. Where would you like to go?
Man, that’s a loaded question… want to visit South America and Europe. Biggest dream is to visit Cuba. The MINUTE travel for Americans opens up, I’m booking a flight and hotel. Wow. Yeah.
25. Name three people who you will see today.
*Will
*Will’s teacher
*My trainer
Many moons ago, in a land far far away (OK, it was in my old house about five miles away, but go with it...) I started a Saturday morning blog feature that I really enjoyed. In the spirt of Blog Revival and stuff, I thought I'd bring it back as a semi-regular thing. So enjoy this blog rewind with your morning coffee and good-for-you cereal -- and don't forget to take your vitamins.
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You know, Saturday mornings just aren’t the same when you’re a grownup. Too many responsibilities. Too many chores. Boring stuff on the telly (save for the cooking show block on FoodTV... but that’s something else entirely.)
I’m missing the pace and entertainment of the Saturdays of my youth. Pajamas and cereal and cartoons. No homework. No endless youth sporting events. No pressure, save maybe to help Daddy in the yard. (Man, I HATED that. Even as a kid, I knew outdoor manual labor was not for me. Damn weeds in the sidewalk cracks. Ugh. But it was fun to get those teeny little snails and whip them at my brother. What?)
So in what may turn out to be a regular thing for me, I’m going to take a ride in the Wayback Machine with Mr. Peabody and Sherman to the time...
...when all cereal that was worth anything had sugar in its five top ingredients list...
...when your pajamas had feet in them...
...when you had to actually get up off your bean bag chair to change the channel, unless you had a younger sibling to do it for you...
...when cartoons and kid shows ruled the morning airwaves. Good cartoons. Cartoons with no educational or social value save for entertainment, Fat Albert and earnest Bill Cosby notwithstanding.
Today, let’s take a look at the World of Sid and Marty Krofft...
Y’all. This shit was wild. Seriously. Skippy. Trippy. Hippy.
Live action shows with crazy premises and over-the-top characters (C’mon. Martha Raye and Charles Nelson Reilly both had parts on Krofft Saturday morning programs. Those two totally define over-the-top... just go look in the dictionary and you’ll see their mugging mugs. Promise.)
I’m just gonna let the show opening to a few Krofft classics speak for themselves... the storytelling theme songs; the costumes; the hysterical special effects -- it’s all there, just like you remember it.
Enjoy. And pass the Super Sugar Crisp. I’ve still got milk in my bowl. (But I call dibs on the Archies record on the back of the box. That’s all mine, baby.)
HR Pufnstuf
Fun fact: my elementary school nickname was Janey-poo, after the illustrious Witchy-poo. And yes, that was a term of endearment -- I was a charming young lass. So there.
Bugaloos
Martha Raye as Benita Bizarre. More awesome than I have words to describe. Benita Bizarre is SO my new drag name, replacing Clams Casino.
Land of the Lost
I never watched this one myself -- never got into the whole dinosaur thing -- but I had friends who loved it. Still do. And who can do a pretty fair sleestack imitation.
Sigmund and the Sea Monsters
Johnny Whitaker (Jody from Family Affair!) Mary Wickes (classic character actress!) Burp and Slurp and Sweet Mama Ooze (best character names ever!)
And here’s the oh-so-familiar credit that ran after every episode...
PS: Couldn’t resist including this quote from Marty Krofft, from an interview in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch. He was asked, point blank, about the relationship between drug use and his shows:
We've heard that for 35 years. We did not intentionally do anything related to drugs in the story. People thought we were on drugs. You can't do good television while on drugs. People never believe you when you say that, but you can't. The shows were very bright and spacey looking. They may have lent themselves to that culture at the time, but we didn't ascribe that meaning to them, and I can't speak to what adults were doing when they were watching the shows. We just set out to make a quality children's program.
I just had one of those Oh! Em! Gee! moments -- I inexplicitly loved this song back in the day (even had a poster of Neil with these guys on the wall of my room in several of the myriad places I lived in college) and for some reason, just now remembered it. I tracked this down on YouTube and am indulgently putting it here, so I can watch it whenever I want. You're welcome to join me.
BONUS!
Elvis needs boats.
Elvis needs boats.
Elvis Elvis Elvis
Elvis Elvis Elvis
Elvis needs boats.
You start out happy that you have no hips or boobs. All of a sudden you get them, and it feels sloppy. Then just when you start liking them, they start drooping.
~ Cindy Crawford
So.
Time for me to pony up – I’m the one who charged my girlies to spill on “the one thing I love about my body” after all. Need to put my mouth where my money is. Or something.
And after some thought – I have nice eyes, damn good skin and FABULOUS, GLORIOUS hair – I’ve decided that the one thing I really love about my body is…
My boobs. Tits. Breasts.
So many names, so many attributes
I’m a curvy girl – always have been, always will be. To paraphrase the frazzled effeminate hotel desk clerk in This Is Spinal Tap -- I’m just as God made me, y’all. I’m *still* working like a madwoman to make myself curvy and healthy and I’d be very happy to get those curves down to a lovely shape.
My one fear is that I’m going to lose my rack with all my get-healthy energy. So far, so good, though. Doing lots of pec exercises to keep things bouncing yet behaving.
But make no mistake – I am not a woman who defines herself by her chest.
I just happen to like what’s there.
And yes – they’re real. And, from what I’ve been told, they are spectacular.
~ Mae West
I received my best confirmation on the quality of my bodaciousness one evening spent with a gal pal dancing and cavorting at a gay club here in town. My décolletage was recognized, fawned over and got a little action even (grope!). The boys loved my girls. There you are.
I could wax poetical here about how the breasts are a vehicle for nutrition and sustenance for the young and talk about how fulfilling breast feeding was for me. But I can’t – because Will was so early my body never reacted the way a normal post-partum body does and despite my very best efforts, I couldn't adequately do the breast feeding thing. Although I do have a great story about working with the lactation specialist at the hospital and having my breast milk shoot across the room and spray a doctor who was observing. I think we were asked to step out of the NICU after that, because our giggles were more than a little disruptive.
Anyhoo.
My breasts, for me, define my physicality as a chick. They make me feel feminine and confident all at the same time. Sometimes they command attention. Sometimes they are just there to give me a boost (damn underwire). And sometimes they’re just a counterbalance for my uber-cerebral self.
So yeah. My boobs are one thing I love about my body. Curvy rules, y’all.
And like Shania says – man, I feel like a woman when we’re in synch.
she must reverence that woman in her which struggles for expression.
~ Margaret Sanger
*cue Don Pardo*
Previously on this blog...
I declared that this was going to be -- on a Take Two -- my year of living bodaciously. And that one of my goals was to make a difference. A bodacious difference.
Well, here’s my shot at that.
I’m a huge proponent and fan of my gender. I do volunteer work with my gender. I support causes affecting my gender. I genuinely (most of the time) like my gender.
We chicks really do have it going on.
However (and you had to know that was coming)… we women are unnecessarily hard and unsupportive of each other. And in turn, ourselves. It’s partly our nature (Hey! I can say that because I am a girlie), partly our environment and partly who else knows what. We women spend – no, we waste – time being contrary to one another, either directly or indirectly when that time and energy could be better spend doing something constructive. Life's tough enough without adding any extra unnecessary angst. Trust me.
Whew.
Does that make sense? It can get a little heady up here on my soap box.
In an attempt to make a small positive difference for my gender, I’ve decided to host a regular self-celebration for us girls. Yes, it’s a meme. But it’s a meme with a purpose.
We’re going to spend time Being Bodacious.
I’ll throw out a topic for discussion and exposition – something that will be thoughtful and insightful, a little funny (c’mon – it’s goofy me helming this after all) and completely constructive, celebratory and creative.
If there's interest, there will be a spot to share the link to your blog/your thoughts so we all can go check out your online home and… be supportive. Cheer you on. Have your back. Right now, just leave a comment with a link to your blog and your poetic thoughts on this matter.
So… onto our Bodacious Topic.
I can hear y’all’s “ooooooooooos” right now.
Not playin' here. Told you.
If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.
~ Virginia Woolf
Yeah, this is a big one. You can blame Shape Magazine for putting the idea into my head. But I think it’s a great place to start this little journey we’re about to go on together.
If you’re like me, you can name 112864 things you do not like about your body. However, when it comes to spinning that onto the positive, it becomes a little more difficult. OK – a lot more difficult.
But it shouldn’t be hard. Or scary. Or painful.
We are wonderful. Head to toe. Skinny darlings and curvy goddesses alike. No, that’s not me BSing here. It’s the truth.
So let’s start with a little self-assessment. You might love your shoulders and the way they look in your bathing suit. Or your luscious, gloss-loving lips. Maybe it’s your fantastic, pedi-worthy toes.
Tell us about it. Don’t be shy. Toot that horn.
Share one thing you love about your body.
You can do it. Because you’re Bodacious.
One is not born a woman, one becomes one.
~ Simone de Beauvoir
Once upon a time, approximately 368 days ago, I declared 2010 to be my year of Living Bodaciously.
So Mama here can now think about Being Bodacious once more. BAM!
Main Entry: bo·da·cious
Function: adjective
Etymology: probably blend of bold and audacious
Date: 1832
1. outright, unmistakable
2. remarkable, noteworthy
3. sexy, voluptuous
It’s rather a funny word, though, isn’t it – bodacious. Albeit with some great meanings across the board – yep, even the sexy and voluptuous part. Can’t be noble and upright all the time. (insert lascivious eyebrow raise here)
That’s what I’ve declared the next 365 days to be for me. Full of bodacious living.
How I’m going to be.
How I want the path I follow to be.
How I want the footsteps I leave behind to be.
Bodacious.
I asked some friends to give me one word they would like to see describe their take on The Eleven. Here’s what they told me:
Skinnier
Prosperous
Fulfilling
Awesome
Amazing
Improved
Success
Happy
Patriotic
Love
Happy
Lessons
Contentment
Ausgezeichnet
Employed
Lighter
Orgasmic
Opportunistic
Calm
Happier
Plurific
Peaceful
Non-Craptastic
Bacony
Excitement
That works, dontcha think? Got a word to add? Leave it in the comments. I’m curious to see what’s on your psyche.
What is it about the genesis of a new year – a series of days, hours, minutes, moments – that causes the collective humanity to assess themselves and set upon some course of self-improvement at the least and self-awareness ideally.
You got me.
I know, though, that for the right now, my gym will be full of people on a mission. Cigarettes abandoned. Calories counted. Order sought. Calendars streamlined.
Whether anyone will be able to maintain his or her personal quest for the next 525,600 minutes is one of those great unknowns. I’d like to think so. But just as the human condition prompts us to engage in self-improvement activity, it also gives us reason to stop, whether of our own doing or from the doing of outside, unavoidable forces.
At least we mean well.
So what am I going to do with myself here in the shiny and new framework known as the year MMXI? So glad you asked…
Have better posture and engage my core CONSTANTLY
Be more sassy
Do unto others…
Laugh every day
Engage in self-confidence, not self-defeat
Make a difference
Make a joyful noise
Pray more
Praise more
Thank more
Trust more
Achieve and better fitness goals -- then make new ones to tackle
Make my house a home, with an open door, full glass and engaging heart
Write, dammit – WRITE!
Most of all, though is that I want is to let The Eleven be a year of sustained passion – for creative ventures, relationships, myself and life as a whole and to cultivate the belief that passion translates to success by any and all definitions.
Let’s go do this thing called life, y’all, here in The Eleven.
You ready?
Hello and welcome to yet another (over)sharing from the World According to Janey. There will be a quiz at the end of the lesson, so pay attention!
1. What curse word do you use the most?
Yes.
How’s that for an answer. I have what the kids call a potty mouth. Come by it naturally, as my paternal grandmother apparently had the same affliction. Am working on it, though – however, baseball season is coming… sports brings out the merchant marine (in speech, that is) in me.
2. Do you own an iPod?
I have three. One verrrrry old one that Will uses, an iPod Touch for toting around and a Shuffle that I use when I work out.
3. Do you still remember the first person you kissed?
I do! I think. Wait…
4. Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture?
Take the picture. I am a notorious camera-phobe. You would not believe the lengths I go to in order to NOT be in a photograph. Ugh.
5. Has anyone ever called you lazy?
Yep. And it was justified. That’s all I’m going to say about that.
6. Has anyone told you a secret this week?
Mmmhmmm. My lips, they are sealed.
7. What is the first thing you notice about a someone to whom you are attracted?
His brain and/or sense oc humor, natch.
8. What are you looking forward to?
Finishing this meme. And my me-only trip to New York City in March.
9. Do you own any band t-shirts?
But of course. Lots of Police ones, a Stones classic and my vintage Joy Division one come to mind.
10. When is the last time you slept on the floor?
Not too long ago when Will was having a tough time health-wise and I needed to be close by.
11. What did you do last night?
Watched maybe the worst football game in the history of the sport. And played Angry Birds. Oh – swore a lot. That game was horrible. To think that one of those teams is in the playoffs and my Bucs aren’t. Stupid system. My profanity was justified. Trust me.
12. Do you get along better with the same sex or the opposite sex?
It’s a toss-up. Depends completely on the person.
13. Who was the last person to make you mad?
Not going to say but I think they know who they are. Ahem.
14. Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours?
Jon Hamm. Please. Have we just met?
15. T or F: All’s fair in love and war?
No. There needs to be some honour and discernment. Not enough of those two things going around these days.
16. What’s something you’ve always wanted?
To be a talk show host. Hush.
17. Do you enjoy spending time with your mother?
It depends…
18. Do you want a bright yellow ‘06 mustang?
Not particularly.
19. Apples or oranges?
Despite being a total F-L-A girl, gotta go with the apple. Yum.
20. Would you rather swim in the ocean or a lake?
While I love the ocean, there’s just something about swimming in a lake that relaxes me. Maybe it’s the non-salt-water-up-the-nose thing I dig.
A 2010 Rewind: The Nail in the Sparkly Coffin of the Year
3 Bòn Móts blathered by citizen janey at 5:57 PMSince everyone, their uncle and their uncle's barista have created a retrospective "best of 2010" list, I thought I would join the fray. Here's a rambling, slightly rant-y but hopefully amusing look through my LASIK-d, stylish reading glasses sporting eyes:
My favorite film
OK. Here’s the thing: I rarely, if ever, go to the movies these days. Which saddens me because there was a time that I saw pretty much every film that interested me when it hit the big screen. This motherhood thing has cramped my stylish cinematic aficionado self.
I saw two movies in the actual, sticky-floored, artery-clogging-popcorn selling theatre this year: Inception and Eat Pray Love. The last movie I saw before that was Kung Fu Panda in 3D, with my niece. That should explain a lot. Especially since I insist on calling it Kung Pao Panda.
All that being said – I honestly don’t have a favorite film this year. I’m probably the only person you know who wasn’t blown away by Inception. Blaming that one on personal taste, mostly – I’m not crazy about the Matrix flicks either. I’m catching up on this year’s offerings, though, via Netflix/AppleTV, but Get Him to the Greek doesn’t really qualify as great cinema, regardless of how much I laughed. Hush.
Man, when did the exercise turn into true confessions. Does “Go Dog Go” count?
I have been horribly, horribly negligent with my reading this year. I’ve read nothing of consequence, save for a couple of books about the ‘70s. I did, however, lie by pools and on beaches catching up with Carl Hiaasen on my Kindle, as well as float in pools reading some very salacious and delightful Brit chick lit. Those English write trashy novels very very well.
Now that I have both a kindle and iPad, I have NO excuses not to read anywhere, anytime. Although I have to say that nothing beats having that book in your hands, dust jacket beside you because while the flap of it makes a great book mark, it’s not so good for reading with on.
My favorite album or song this year
Finally! Something for which I have some actual collateral. Thank goodness.
Real True Confession: I was a Pop Goddess this year. While I like the song stylings of Mumford & Sons (that is some seriously good music they’re making – I find it quite thought-provoking) and Fitz & the Tantrums are groovy as hell, I was mired in some poppy catchy lovely froth.
Froth like this:
Bruno Mars ~ “Just the Way You Are”
When I told my 15-year-old niece I dug this as we were playing Angry Birds side-by-side on our respective Apple contraptions, I got my “cool auntie” card punched for at least another year.
I think Mrs. Brand is adorable and I love her image and her moxie. But truth be told, the version of this song I’m nuts about is this one:
She is who I wish my 21-year-old self would have been. I admire her a lot.
My favorite song of the year, hands down. Groovy, catchy and cheeky. Plus his voice is sick, y’all. I’m dancing in my office chair right now just thinking about it.
(Heads up – this is the potty-mouth version. Couldn’t resist. My blog, my rules.)
My TV Boyfriend of the year
Have we just met? Do I even need to answer this question? Seriously?
Yeah. My TV Boyfriend, now and for the foreseeable future. Is That Guy.
My TV Girlfriend of the year
Good question. My votes: one for Sofia Vergara of Modern Family – she’s impossibly gorgeous (have you seen her?) and is funny funny funny on a show of comic-timing experts. And one for Christina Hendricks of Mad Men. She too is gorgeous with a body to die for (have you seen her?) and brings so much to a complicated character.
I posed this question to some of my interwebz girlies and they had some equally interesting recommendations:
Emily Deschanel – Bones
Morena Baccarin – V
Yvonne Strahovski – Chuck
Michaela Conlin – Bones
Mariska Hargitay – L&O:SVU
My my my.
My biggest anticipations of the new year
You know, I really don’t have any serious specific anticipations for the new year in the way of pop culture. I'm not fan-wanking for any movie or band or projected TV show. I am, however, always hoping to discover some new (or new-to-me) music, discover a telly program that’s either brilliant or so horrible-that-it-becomes-brilliant. I would like to see a career renaissance for another veteran performer, a la Betty White. My vote: Katherine Helmond. Might wax poetical about that later.
My favorite new website of the year
Gotta be Get Glue. A social networking site for entertainment/pop culture, it lets you “check-in” to whatever you’re watching/reading/listening to/doing/etc. plus guides to you find other such things you might be interested in. For a pop culture diva like me, it’s a little slice of social media heaven. And you get stickers for stuff! Yay! Go check it out. Then friend me!
My favorite pop culture news story of the year
Did some thinking about this one. And after some contemplation and time spent with some of my favorite expert sources (People, TMZ and EW) I decided that my favorite pop culture news story this year wasn’t an actual story per se, but more of a theme. The world of social media mashed into pop culture like never before in 2010. Highlighted by the release of The Social Network, the critically acclaimed film about the social media behemoth, Facebook, the relationship between high-profile personalities, the news they generate and the way that information is shared and spread got faster and more interactive. Personalities interacted directly and virtually with the people who use their product -- television, movies, music, books, sports. I had a couple of Twitter exchanges with a chef, Alex Guarnachelli, I admire greatly. Made my whole day. It’s the little things.
What amazes me more – and it shouldn’t because it’s so ubiquitous now – is the sheer speed at which information, both factual and fictional, is spread. We used to get word of a notable person’s passing or other such news via the televised media or the newspaper, often much later than when the event itself happened.
Craziness.
I think I’m going to stop now with this little bit of blathering, as I am discovering I have a whole lot to say about it and will reserve that for another post in the near future. How’s that for a stay tuned/cliffhanger tease…
My favorite actor/actress of the year
You know, I have to go with James Franco here – not so much because of what he’s done on-screen (but I understand he defines compelling in 127 Hours), but because he’s just so damn compelling. He is a Renaissance man keeping step not just to him own drummer, but an entire percussion corps. Fascinating fellow. Enigmatic. Ubiquitous. Sure he’s got critics and detractors but I’d rather have someone like him to read about than a whole passel of Kardashians and Disney Princesses. Most of the time. Shhh...
My favorite TV drama of the year
Mad Men. Nothing else for me comes even close.
My favorite TV comedy of the year
Modern Family. Whip-smart writing and a cast that crackles with chemistry and timing.
My favorite TV reality show of the year
My dirty not-so-secret love. There are so many from which to choose… it’s kind of a toss up between a couple of the Real Housewives franchises – Atlanta and New York – and The Amazing Race. Never let it be said I don’t have diverse tastes.
My favorite TV channel of the year
Bravo. Please. I could leave it tuned to whatever number it is on my digital cable all day and be happy happy. It’s compelling and a little trashy and doesn’t take itself too seriously. Plus Andy Cohen!
So there’s my little Pop Culture Roundup. As always, your millage may vary and your thoughts are always welcomed. Thanks for reading.
And as Tracey Ullman used to say “Go Home!”
Ah New Year’s Day, I greet you with a hail and hearty hello. You and I have quite a history, don’t we – going back many many years.
When I was a wee lass, you were a fun day when I got to set off poppers and blow horns my parents brought home from their New Year’s Eve outing. I don’t remember ever seeing your genesis, though goodness knows I tried. Sleep was a bigger foe to conquer than my nana, who would let me get away with anything… shhhhhh.
You did, in those days, come with a meal I still to this day don’t care much for. Ham = blah. Greens = not bad. Cornbread that’s not sweet = meh. Black eyed peas = the debil. I’ve been told that my distaste for this menu may be cause enough for me to turn in my Steel Magnolia card, but I don’t believe it. You can stick it and please pass the boiled custard.
When I got older, you were a time for rest and recovery and why are y’all talking so loudly. Pajamas were the attire for the day and football the entertainment. You were a day to exhale, as the festivities of the holidays were in the rear view mirror and the pressures of the spring semester ahead yet to be revealed. 
I have spent many of you watching a bowl game live and in person, thanks to a daddy who was a mucky-muck with the bowl committee and available tickets. There’s nothing quite like sitting in a full football stadium WITH YOUR PARENTS when you are either hung over or still under the influence of the considerable amounts of adult beverages consumed a fairly short time previously. How’s that for a fancy pants way to say “still drunk.” WITH YOUR PARENTS.
Anyhoo.
With you, I’ve nursed the flu (103 fever!) and a broken heart (stupid boys), entertained housefuls of people, comforted a friend whose mother suddenly passed away, driven hundreds of miles to get home in time to go back to work. And I’ve spent you at the isolet-side of my boy, helping to carry supplies and blankets and stuffed animals as he moved from the most critical area of the NICU to the area for more stable and improving little ones. That day, you were nothing but sheer joy.
I’ve experienced every conceivable emotion with you. Including hope. Always hope. 
There’s a line of thought that says how one spends time on New Year’s Day sets the tone for the rest of the year. Not sure I buy into that, as I think one’s frame of mind on this day is more important.
And on this day I am focused and peaceful. Full of hope and overwhelmed with ideas. Creativity is pushing forward, relegating self-doubt and insecurity to the back row.
So on this, our annual rendezvous, New Year’s Day, I salute you and share a knowing wink. Here’s to us meeting again in approximately five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes. It is, as always, a pleasure.
This one’s a semi-long distance dedication just for you:
I'm so glad we had this time together,
Just to have a laugh, or sing a song.
Seems we just get started and before you know it
Comes the time we have to say, “So long".
