5.22.2008

To sleep, perchance to dream...

This damn illness is wrecking havoc in all areas of my life. Canceled plans; kleenex boxes all over the house; a voice that is kindly described as being a hot-tranny-mess (you think it registers low when I'm well -- when I'm sick, it ventures into total drag queen territory.)

And my subconscious is feeling the effects as well. After I dropped Will off at school, I came home and immediately crawled back into bed. Drifting off to sleep under my ceiling fan and blankee. Ahhhh. Bliss.

However... when the REM sleep set in, things got odd.

In jane's dreamland, Scientology and Mormonism have apparently merged. How do I know this? Because Tom Cruise was looking to expand his insanity into the realm of polygamy and wanted to take another wife in addition to Katie.

The winning candidate: Lindsay Lohan.

And I dreamed about their threesome wedding.

What the eff was that about, I ask you? I can't stand two of the three stahs of this nightmare (and am lukewarm about Katie at best, although I love her fashion style and that Suri is the cutest child this side of Will...) so what the hell were they doing in my under-the-weather subconscious?

And to think that the craziest dream I'd had prior to this involved me, a bubble bath in a black marble bathroom and Howard "Dr. Johnny Fever" Hesseman...

Apparently I need to stop reading People and Us Weekly while under the influence of sinus meds. Dangerous combination.

6 comments:

Why, it's Clark! said...

Unrelated to anything pertinent but someone sang "I Hate Myself For Loving You"...poorly...@ karaoke tonight.
Just sayin'

SusanD said...

Aw, get better soon, baby! Those nasty nightmares aren't good for anyone. (except Cruise.)

Jen of A2eatwrite said...

I hope you feel tons better. I think I had the same cold - it lasted a week, and it's still slightly with me although it seems to be lifting. Finally.

And I'm not sure even Cruise won out if Lohan was in the equation...

Jeff said...

Whatever cold medication you are on, best to toss it out before you start having polygamy dreams involving Lawrence Welk.....

Meg said...

Actually Tom and Lindsay having a kid is not a bad idea, especially if their kid ended up having a depression or addiction disorder. Maybe then he'd change his stance on medication.

Hope you feel better.

April said...

That's hysterical! But only 'cuz it wasn't my dream. I hope you feel better soon.