Dis. Dat. And de Uddder.

Last night’s Dream Report:

I was on a posh tour bus in Hilton Head, SC and was being wooed heavily by both Bob Crane (aka Col. Hogan) and Alec Baldwin.

In case you were wondering – Alec won. Rowr. Like there was ever a question. I love him. But you knew that already.

Underlying meaning: I watch waaaay too much classic telly.


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Seen on the way to take Will to school today: two trannie hookers nursing some Starbucks. Apparently everyone needs a little caffeine to get the day started.

Gotta put the zip in the doo-dah, so to speak.


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Seen while walking Will in to school today: a mom wearing a leopard print caftan (from the Totie Fields collection, no doubt) and fur bedroom slippers.

Never again will I worry about wearing my workout clothes when doing the drop-off.

SO boring in comparison.


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Seen on the way to pick up Will from school today: A man, riding a bike – coaster breaks, little basket on front. One more thing – he was also using a big white/red-tipped cane. Blind guy on bike. Doing well, I might add. Roll on, my friend.

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My front yard has become a danger zone. There is a SNAKE in residence at the moment. I’m told it’s a little “harmless” black racer. Pffffft. He is snake so he is evil in my book. ‘Bout passed out on my front stoop yesterday when I walked out the front door and there he was. I’m also told that he was probably as scared of me as I was of him. Doubtful.

From now on, ventures into the yard will involve shoes and a wary eye.

Back off Snake (whom I’ve named Oswald) – I’m on to you.

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Celebrity Crush of the Week: Bob Harper from The Biggest Loser. Rowrrrrrrrr again.

Have you seen those abs?

Yes, I realize he wore sparkly spandex pants a couple of shows ago. Have you seen those abs?

Yes, I know that this is one of my more ridiculous crushes – ranks right up there with James Carville. But have you seen those abs?

And by that I mean Bob’s abs, not Carville’s.

Lord, can you imagine?