Flashback Friday: Jane's getting serious. Could you get serious too?

It's Wayback Machine Time! Pop open a wine cooler, throw on your Wayfarers, sit back and yes, relax.

You know you are a product of the '80s if...

... you’ve ever ended a sentence with the word “psych.”
Probably. It’s been a while, save for me saying "Hey! Did you catch the most recent episode of 'Psych'?" But I don't think that counts.

... you can sing the rap to the “Fresh Prince of Bel Air” and can do the “Carlton.”
Can do both of these, thanks in no small part to the constant repeats on Nick at Nite.

... you wore biker shorts under your skirts and felt stylishly sexy.
Oh yeah. I was big into this -- biker shorts under minis and longer leggings under long jean skirts that were unbuttoned to the knee. So fashionable.

... two words: Hammer Pants.
No. No. Never.

... you wore a ponytail on the side of your head.
Damn straight I did. With a headband, too.

... you bought one of those clips that would hold your shirt in a knot on the side.
No. Not so much.

... you wore stone-washed jean jackets and were proud of it.
I had a jean jacket that I wore everywhere with everything. It literally disintigrated and we had to finally part ways. That was a sad, sad day. I miss that jacket.

... L.A. Gear
Nah. Not my style.

... you know the profound meaning of “wax on, wax off.”
“Don't forget to breathe, very important.”

... you ever wore fluorescent clothing.
Absolutely. Mostly t-shirts and, yes, socks. I was really into bright-ass socks for some reason.

... you can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off and his cheeks shifted.
But of course. Thriller and Off the Wall. Classic. "Working Day and Night" and "Beat It" are part of my regular workout playlist.

... you still get the urge to say “NOT” after every sentence.
Please. That’s way too silly for me these days.


... you ever owned a pair of Jelly-Shoes (and probably in neon colors, too).
Oh yeah. Hot pink jelly pumps. LOVED them. Bought a pair of Jelly flip-flops last summer... de. light.ful.

... after you saw “Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure” you kept saying “I know you are, but what am I?
Actually, I was more an aficionado of “Pee-Wee’s Playhouse,” which came on Saturday mornings and was great to watch while waking up, even with a hangover. Which happened more often than not. Try to contain your shock at *that* revelation.

... you remember “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.”
That poor old woman, living without Life Alert.

... you remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates.
Oh heck yeah. My rink, the fabulously named Gay Blades, was the place to be in the afternoons. I was a master at doing the skate version of the Hokey Pokey.

... you ever got seriously injured on a Slip and Slide.
Yes. But I’d been drinking. Does that count?

... you have played with a Skip-It.
I have no idea what this is -- I got my driver’s license in ‘80 (shut. up.), so the toys of the decade are a bit foreign to me.

... you had or attended a birthday party! at McDonalds.
See above.

... you’ve gone through this so far totally nodding your head in agreement.
*nods head*

... “Don’t worry, be happy.”
Make it stop. LOATHE that song.

... you wore, like, EIGHT pairs of socks over tights with high top Reeboks.
No way. It was more like six.

...you wore socks scrunched down.
Yep. Still do. Sometimes. Shhhh... don’t tell.

... you remember boom boxes.
Heck yeah -- and they were HUGE! In every sense of the word.

... you remember Alf, the li’l furry brown alien from Melmac.
“Haaa! I kill me.” *hangs head in shame*

... you remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool.
See #19. They were never cool to me. Lo siento.

... you know all the words to Bon Jovi’s “You Give Love a Bad Name.”
Oh hell yeah. Wanna duet on the chorus?

... you remember watching Magic vs. Bird.
Vividly. Watched every match-up. Greatest basketball rivalry ever. I could wax poetical about this for pages and pages. But I won't. Unless you ask nicely... (GO CELTS!)

... homemade Levi shorts.
Yes. I did this. But when I was still in high school -- which only excuses it a little.

... you remember when mullets were cool.
There was a time when mullets were cool? Really? Are you sure?

... you had a mullet.
Are you joking? Have we just met?

... you still sing “We are the World.”
Still sing? Not so much. However, I did re-write the lyrics back in the day to reflect the then-current job market prospects for my fellow public relations majors:
“We are PR
We make no money
Our saleries suck
And it’s not funny.”

Ah, the angst of a smart-ass college junior... *gag*

... you tight rolled your jeans.
Can’t say that I ever did this.

... you owned a banana clip.
I owned a couple of banana clips as a matter of fact. I actually liked the way my hair looked in them. Had a pair of thick gold hoops I always wore when I had my hair up like that. And Cherries in the Snow lipstick. Fabulous.

Shut up.

... you remember “Where’s the Beef?
Clara Peller and her cranky old ladies, pimping Wendy’s burgers. Excellent.

... you used to (and probably still do) say “What you talkin’ ’bout Willis?”
Guilty. Poor Will gets this directed at him all. the. time.

... you had big hair and you knew how to use it.
Honey, you have no idea. Oh wait...

... you are still singing “You Give Love a Bad Name."
Absolutely. Although I actually prefer “Livin’ On a Prayer,” truth be told.

What’s the first song listed from the ‘80s (not a cover!) that pops up on your iTunes...
“Thumbelina” -- The Pretenders. Chrissie Hynde is a goddess. That is all.

1 comment:

Clark said...

I've always loved you, Jane, but the fact that you appreciate the funky genius of "Working Day and Night" increases my ardor even more so.