Tough evening here at my house.
For both Will and me.
He's sleeping now, cheeks still pink and eyes red-rimmed from crying.
All because he and his mama had a communication stalemate.
My brave little boy wanted something tonight -- something that involved "turning it on." But he never could get me to understand what it was he wanted.
I tried everything. Oh, how I tried. We played with every toy that was tumbled onto the floor of his room. Music was turned on and off. Lights flickered.
"Will, please tell Mama what it is you want."
"I need you to turn it on."
And so it went. For over an hour. Neither one of us able to break through the wall and get to that ah-ha moment we both so desperately wanted.
I finally walked away, to try and gather my thoughts and to glean some clarity. He closed the door of his room and sobbed angrily. I had not been able to meet his need. He had not been able to tell me what that need was.
I can see the frustration in his eyes. Hear it in his voice. He wants so much to engage with me, to share things with me.
His skill set just isn't cooperating.
And it breaks my heart. I want to help him. But even my best efforts weren't enough. Not this time.
So as he sleeps, I will try to figure out what it was he was trying to tell me. Hoping for the best.
Tomorrow is another day. after all.