Power Failure

Tough evening here at my house.




For both Will and me.

He's sleeping now, cheeks still pink and eyes red-rimmed from crying.

All because he and his mama had a communication stalemate.

My brave little boy wanted something tonight -- something that involved "turning it on." But he never could get me to understand what it was he wanted.

I tried everything. Oh, how I tried. We played with every toy that was tumbled onto the floor of his room. Music was turned on and off. Lights flickered.

"Will, please tell Mama what it is you want."

"I need you to turn it on."

And so it went. For over an hour. Neither one of us able to break through the wall and get to that ah-ha moment we both so desperately wanted.

I finally walked away, to try and gather my thoughts and to glean some clarity. He closed the door of his room and sobbed angrily. I had not been able to meet his need. He had not been able to tell me what that need was.

I can see the frustration in his eyes. Hear it in his voice. He wants so much to engage with me, to share things with me.

His skill set just isn't cooperating.

And it breaks my heart. I want to help him. But even my best efforts weren't enough. Not this time.

So as he sleeps, I will try to figure out what it was he was trying to tell me. Hoping for the best.

Tomorrow is another day. after all.


NotAMeanGirl said...

Oh Honey! I hate that you guys have days like this. I wish I could make it better for the both of you! Go... snuggle with your sleeping lil man for a few and you'll both relax even though he's passed out.

TopSurf said...

I can only imagine how frustrating this is for both you and him. Just know that you are doing a great job with Will and believe me I know that. Tomorrow is a new day and I hope that it brings you the answers you were searching for today. (((hugs)))

SusanD said...

Hugs, Jane.

bronsont said...

I so want to just hug you both and make it all right, but I know I can't.

His mothers love will make it all better for him, and time.

perpstu said...

Oh Jane, I can only imagine how frustrating that is! I know how bad I feel when LW pops out with a word he wants a definition for, but I can't understand the word. (((HUGS))) I know you and Will will break through the wall!

cajunvegan said...

This may sound totally cliche, but where there's a will there's a way. Your Will will find his way with your love and support.