12.10.2011

Things I Think About

Things I Think About...

Who really is the better Darrin – Dick York or Dick Sargent?

What makes Tootsie Roll Pops so darn addictive? And no, I don't know how many licks it takes yada yada yada...

Where did manners and civility and respect for one’s fellow man and woman go? What is wrong with people that they have to act like such jackasses sometimes?

Mario Cantone looks just like a shorter, slightly more gay version of my old boyfriend. Who was (unconfirmed officially, but I have a great sense for these things) gay himself, just not out at the time we dated. He's still on my "dead to me" list even after 20 years. More on that later...

Do people with self-tanning addictions really think looking like they just came out of a food hydrator is attractive?

The Coca-Cola people should hire me to do testimonials for Daisani. I drink that stuff by the gallon. If only it came in gallon containers (hint-hint)...

Does Donald Trump style his own hair after he gets out of the shower? Does someone come in and swoop and swirl it for him? Are they properly compensated?

And speaking of hair -- Gene Simmons. His hair. Defies description. Really. Have you ever looked closely at it -- it's like a pack of Brillo pads, sans soapy stuff, was taken and moled to make hair. Fascinating in a can't look away sort of fashion.

There needs to be a food truck in my neighborhood that serves/delivers made-to-order breakfast.

Are people really as damn happy to be eating at Olive Garden as they seem on TV?

Why do fools fall in love?

Seriously – what is wrong with people these days?

Did Jesus’ feet ever hurt after doing all that walking in what must have been very uncomfortable sandals?

Why can I not give myself a “pedicure” without looking like a gorilla painted my toenails?

Lovey Howell was underrated.

Am I EVER going to get my office unpacked and organized? God bless America, it’s a hot mess. Ask me about this, please. I have many projects (novel, essays, podcast, website) percolating for the new year and I need a place to work, y'all. If I want to morph into the modern-day Sally Rogers, I need to get on this ASAP.

If Jon Hamm rang my doorbell and said “run away with me” I wouldn’t bother to close the door behind me as I left.

If I had my own talk show, my set would look like a big, glorious bedroom and my guests and I would wear pajamas and sit around the bedroom to chat. And we'd have a house cat. Plus a little band on a set that looked like a paneled basement. Refreshments would be served.

Is there a better pop love song than "Maybe I'm Amazed" by Paul McCartney and Wings? I think not. Been singing it a lot lately... makes me smile.

Gee my skin looks terrific. Fresh air, natural vitamin D, 300 SPF and good moisturizers.

I don't use the word "dodgy" enough. Must remedy this.

Why did straight up aerobics go out of fashion? I loved that -- it made me feel like I was a dancer. What?

Do kids today (after they get off my lawn) listen to jazz? Do people of my generation? I hope so. Man I hope so. PS:and by jazz I mean the straight up, classic stuff or the current interpretation of that. Not the smoooooooth jazz that makes my ears cringe (yes, I know. Your milage may vary.)

We need a revival in earnest of that Random Acts of Kindness movement. Our world could use a bolus dose of it. Maybe I’ll start it…

Why are the women on House Hunters (that show on HGTV) so damn disagreeable all the time when they look at houses? Is that part of the casting requirements: "must be raging bitch and complain about everything, especially if the kitchen countertops aren't granite, there's only one sink in the master bathroom and the dining room is painted a color she doesn't like."

Does Rhianna own pants? Seriously -- all I ever see her in anymore are those high-waisted modern day granny panties and fishnets. Won't she be cold here soon, if not already? Is she planning to spend the winter months in the southern hemisphere?

Eggnog should be available year round. This "only at the holidays" nonsense is unacceptable.

These are Things I Think About

4 comments:

yoonamaniac said...

I hated the straight up aerobics. I wish they had the strip dance classes when I used to go to gym. Have you read that they are trying to get it to be accepted at the Olympics, btw?

Ruprecht said...

Eggnog is available you're round.

You only need make it yourself. And it's much betterer that way anywho.

bronsont said...

Your talk show = Hef's Playboy After Dark back in the day! :-)

Christina said...

What are your thoughts on Harry Connick Jr? I'm not properly schooled on jazz (my mom would be so disappointed), but his voice and sound makes me melt.