The word of the day is... nice

Sometimes I hate the internet.

Oh sure, it's got its good points. That whole information-in-the-blink-of-an-eye thing. Communications anytime, anywhere. And TMZ. Plus the cats. So, so many cats.

But there's also the anonymity factor. People can say anything they want under cloak of a screen name. Anything. And online communication is flat, one dimensional. Tone must be deduced. Intent must be surmised.

Unless the comment is just plain rude. And unsolicited. No deduction needed.

I don't understand the need for people to be cavalierly mean or judgmental. Passing out insulting barbs namelessly, criticizing someone or something. Does it make them feel better? Smarter? Like a superior person? I've stopped reading the comments sections on so many online pieces because the vitriol and nastiness has superseded any chance for intelligent, respectful dialogue. It makes me uncomfortable. It makes me mad. Why the need to be so ugly?

I received one of those nameless barbs as a comment on the blog earlier today, criticizing my content choices and creativity. Went way over the line. I started this piece with the intent of defending myself -- explaining my life circumstances and decisions. However -- I realized don't owe anyone, especially someone who opted to be anonymously rude, an explanation.  My blog, my rules, my life, my editorial decisions.

You don't like what I have to say or the way I say it -- then you don't have to read it. But there's no need to be mean-spirited about it. Just go away and find something that suits you.

I've opted to install comment moderation, though, as a result of this incident (Well, it's not really an "incident." More like an unpleasant moment. Yes. Unpleasant moment.) No, it's not censorship -- it's a measure to insure a level of courtesy and respect. Don't take it personally unless you're planning on sharing a nastygram. Or revel in being considered a bitch/asshole.

While I've never posted something for the specific intent of being mean or to make someone feel badly, I am guilty of having an edge -- a bit of the snark, as they say. It's not a side of myself I particularly like and I'm going to try to reign it in during the coming year. There's already enough of that nonsense in the world without me contributing to it. (Although all bets are off when it comes to The Bachelor. Because for that one, I just cannot help myself.)

It's just nicer to be nice.

I bet you got pushed around -- somebody made you cold.
But the cycle ends right now because you can't lead me down that road.

And you don't know, what you don't know…

Why you gotta be so mean?


Gay Gulick said...

Here are some wise words from one of my 12 year old church kiddos. "I told someone else this earlier and its something I want all my friends to know that are battling people who are unhappy with them ..... don't waste your time explaining yourself to haters ,if all they have to do in their spare time is insult you, you're already way ahead of them ,real friends don't expect you to be perfect they accept you the way you are." I thought those were wise words to start out the new year, especially from a 12 year old. Love you lots and love to read anything you write.

Karin said...

I read this post with my mouth hanging open. I cannot for the life of me figure out what on earth someone could have found offensive in any of your recent posts.

Some people need to be jerks just for the sake of being jerks. I don't understand those people and I've quit trying. I delete and move on.

ILYTTSABA and am thrilled to pieces to read anything you write!

Zsus said...

Who was mean to you?? Let me at 'em... let me at 'em! And don't forget that being a little snarky is not the same as being mean. We all need to have a sense of humor about ourselves and the nonsense around us. You do! Don't give it up just because someone else doesn't "get it."

janey jay said...

Thank you friends for your wise words. The comment in question was directed more at my creativity and ability, rather than my opinion. Haters gonna hate. And trust me, the humor will remain.

Jan said...

Well, this likers gonna like. One of the best things I have read in the past week is as follows:

Ignore people who are shitty.

Now that's the key to writing if I ever heard it.


Anonymous said...

Oooo, leet me at them! I'll punch them in the stomach. Bullies are bullies. We don't do bully!

Anonymous said...

Arg. Don't change a thing.