A Word from the English Major. On Meme Monday. Worlds Colliding!

Stumbled upon this fun, thoughtful meme while poking around on the 'net, as I am wont to do. Having just been tagged on Facebook with the BBC list of Essential Books (btw -- I have some gripes with that list... no Hemingway? No Toni Morrison? Pffft. And PS: I can count on one hand the number of people I know who have really read, cover to cover, the Complete Works of Shakespeare. And they all have advanced degrees. In English. Anyhoo...) I'm finding myself in a literary mood. So I'm sharing that flyleaf joy with y'all!

1) What author do you own the most books by?
Ellery Queen, believe it or not. Oh, and John Jakes. Have the whole Bicentennial Series, the Civil War Series and assorted others.

Then there’s my Jackie Collins collection. Shut up.

2) What book do you own the most copies of?
The Bible. Have a half dozen versions. And the Complete Works of Shakespeare, coming in with five copies.

3) Did it bother you that both those questions ended with prepositions?
Yes. I involuntarily twitched.

5) What book have you read the most times in your life?
Aloud: Goodnight Moon; Hop on Pop; Go Dog Go

To myself: The Bible, Gone with the Wind, Auntie Mame. The Great Gatsby, Little Women, The World According to Garp, The Sun Also Rises

6) What was your favorite book when you were ten years old?
Little Women. I devoured that book. It has a special place in my heart.

7) What is the worst book you've read in the past year?
It wasn’t a Bad Book in any sense of the word – but I have to say Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett. I tried – oh how I tried – to like it, to get into it, to dig it. But never did. I’m not even sure I made it all the way through. Still have it on the bookshelf for a revisit. Just in case.

8) What is the best book you've read in the past year?
Rachel Kushner’s Telex from Cuba. Fascinating and thought-provoking and really well-written. Plus there’s that Cuba thing – and y’all know how I feel about that place…

9) If you could force everyone you tagged to read one book, what would it be?
One Hundred Years of Solitude. No question. While I love Latin American fiction as a rule, this is a passion.

11) What book would you most like to see made into a movie?
The City of Falling Angels by John Berendt. Just to see Venice in all its splendor.

12) What book would you least like to see made into a movie?
One Hundred Years of Solitude. Trying to literally visually capture the magic of this masterpiece is a no-win situation for both the novel and the book, at least from my perspective.

13) What is the most lowbrow book you've read as an adult?
Please. Have we just met? J’adore the Jackie Collins oeuvre. Enough said.

14) What is the most difficult book you've ever read?
Anything by Thomas Pynchon. I just don’t get him. Despite having read him numerous times in undergrad/grad school. However, I understand he has a new book coming out soon that is more “accessible.” I shall try again with Mr. Pynchon.

15) Do you prefer the French or the Russians?
Russians. No good reason. I just do.

16) Roth or Updike?
Updike. The Rabbit series is on the nightstand ready to get into the rotation.

17) David Sedaris or Dave Eggers?
Sedaris.

18) Shakespeare, Milton, or Chaucer?
Shakespeare. Shakespeare. Shakespeare.

19) Austen or Eliot?
Eeek. While not a passionate, die-hard fan, I will go with Austen.

20) What is the biggest or most embarrassing gap in your reading?
Probably the aforementioned French/Russian novels. Have spent the majority of my time camped out with American/English/Latin American works. Should I branch out?

21) What is your favorite novel?
Truthfully – while I adore The Great Gatsby, The Sun Also Rises and One Hundred Years of Solitude, my favorite novel is Auntie Mame. So there you are.

22) Essay?
Jonathan Swift’s "A Modest Proposal"

23) Work of nonfiction?
Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. All the President's Men. And the Bible.

24) Who is your favorite writer?

Hmmm. Shakespeare is up there. As is Hemingway. But I truly madly deeply adore Patrick Dennis.

25) What is your desert island book?
The Norton Anthology of American Literature, featuring the more contemporary works. I'd rather hang with Steinbeck, et al than Twain. But that's just me.

26) What are you reading right now?
Re-reading Julie and Julia in anticipation of the movie; McCullough’s Truman; Praise Habit by David Crowder.

27) What fictional character are you secretly in love with?
Rhett Butler. Please. The man is sex on a Confederate stick.

28) Who deserves to win the next Nobel Prize for Literature?
Thomas Pynchon. See, I am giving him another chance!

29) Describe your weirdest dream involving a writer, book, or literary character.
I cannot think of one.

But I did have naughty dreams in grad school about my sexy alpha male much older professor and the sexy long-haired stereotypical teaching assistant who sat next to me in my Contemporary Latin American Fiction class and who I would drink many beers with after class as we talked about those pretentious things that English grad students talk about.

Does that count?

30) What is the most obscure Shakespeare play you've seen?
Two Gentlemen of Verona

31) Favorite Play?
Where do I begin? Lanford Wilson’s Burn This; Albee’s Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolff?; Neil Simon’s Barefoot in the Park; The Taming of the Shrew. Oh – G.B. Shaw’s Pygmalion and Don Juan in Hell. And then there's Blood Wedding and The House of Bernarda Alba by Garcia Lorca. Or The Mystery of Irma Vep by Charles Ludlum (my guilty, campy pleasure.)

I cannot decide on just one. And you can’t make me.

32) Favorite Poem?

Anything by Neruda is stellar. And I really appreciate Borges. (can you tell I love my Latin American stuff?)

But my favorite is Shakespeare’s Sonnet 116. It is inscribed on my heart. I will be happy to recite it for you any day, any time. Just ask.

33) Favorite short story?

Raymond Carver’s “A Small, Good Thing.” Resonates with me now more than ever. As you might imagine. I adore Carver, by the way. Go watch Robert Altman's Short Cuts for a look at Carver's works in three-dimensional form.

34) Who is the most overrated writer alive today?
Maya Angelou. Shhhh…

A Word from the English Major

The weekly meme TMI Tuesday had a group of questions posed a couple of weeks ago that I could not resist answering. I'm a sucker for (a) sharing my opinion and (b) anything to do with words and (c) sharing my opinion on anything to do with words. Go figure.

What is your language pet peeve?
The apostricfication of language. ( In case you were wondering, I made that word up. So there.)

Plural words DO NOT need an apostrophe before the “s." Yes, Virginia, there is a difference between a plural and a possessive. Trust me. I see this done everywhere. Drives me nuts -- especially when it’s in a printed ad or something else that should have been proofed before publication. Ugh. Hello -- need a proofreader? Call me. I'm good and I'm cheap.

What is your favorite word -- both dirty and clean?
Clean: Grace. To garner unmerited favor. A beautiful word for a beautiful sentiment.

Oh, and based on my constant usage of it -- seriously. I know I overwork it, but it just fits so well sometimes.

Dirty: Shit. My go-to expletive. Said way too often (just ask Will’s teacher about that -- My Little Parrot has shared that on more than one occasion. Color me mortified.)

What is the one word you cannot spell?
ONE word? Are you joking? How much time do you have...

My inability to spell is a well-known fact. I like to think of it as being part of my charm.

What is the one word you always pronounce wrong?
N-U-C-L-E-A-R. I pronounce it like Jimmy Carter. Nucular. That’s right -- Jimmy Carter. I refuse to acknowledge that other president who also says this word this way. When I was growing up, Daddy was the spokesperson for the local power company and the term “nuclear” got a lot of play in our house. I still say it incorrectly, no matter how conscious of my mispronunciation I am. Again, it’s that charm thing.

If you could erase one popular catchphrase from the english language, what would it be?
That damn “get ‘er done.” Or anything else said by that Larry the Cable Guy. Not a fan.

Bonus: The late, and very hot Michael Hutchence once sang, "Words are weapons, sharper than knives" . What is the most hurtful thing you have ever said to anyone? Was it deliberate or accidental? What was the most hurtful thing ever said to you? Do you think it was deliberate or accidental?

The most hurtful thing I ever said to anyone was accidental. At least on the surface. It was in the midst of a bad (and I mean baaaaaad) breakup and I told my soon-to-be-ex that our relationship was a colossal mistake. The look on his face and the tone in his voice immediately let me know that I had wounded him deeply, albeit unintentionally. Still haunts me.

The most hurtful thing anyone ever said to me came from the mouth of a close relative who told me, as an impressionable young teenager, that I had the personality of a gnat. Try shaking that one when you are still working on developing yourself as a person -- including trying to build your confidence. Still haunts me. Paralyzingly so -- more often than I’d like.

Blech. Enough.

Here’s a bit of hippy trippy thematic fun from the Monkees. Look! They let Davy get close to a real instrument (and I don’t mean the wind chimes, either... he’s got drum sticks and he’s not afraid to wield them.)

A Word from the English Major

Today's Word of the Day on dictionary.com was just too delicious to resist.

troglodyte (TROG-luh-dyt)

noun:
1. A member of a primitive people that lived in caves, dens, or holes; a cave dweller.
2. One who is regarded as reclusive, reactionary, out of date, or brutish.

When I saw the word -- and even before I thought of a way to work it into my vocab today -- I was reminded of this gem from my youth. The video is hysterical, the song, a classic '70s funk groove.



The primary endearing quality of this song, to a tween-ager, was, of course, Bertha Butt. The very mention of whom caused gales of laughter to ring out across playgrounds everywhere. Listening to the song for the first time in forever, I'm struck by how much Bertha sounds like Geraldine.



And now this post has evolved from an English vocab lesson to a glimpse into my childhood... explains a lot, doesn't it.

I'll sock it to ya, daddy. Oh yeah.

A Word from the English Major

Yep. Another word. Literally.

A delicious, melodic, nuanced word. One I love to use, but often can't remember how to spell. Dammit.

Schadenfreude (SHOD-n-froy-duh)

noun: a malicious satisfaction obtained from the misfortunes of others

Fun Fact: Schadenfreude comes from the German, from Schaden, "damage" + Freude, "joy." It is often capitalized, as it is in German.

Isn't this more elegant and eloquent than "Karma's a bitch. HAHAHAH!"

Well, I think so anyway.

And now I'm going to go around looking for opportunities to use this.

You've been warned.

A Word from the English Major

Literally. A word.

One that is new to me, believe it or not.

gimcrack
\JIM-krak\
noun: A showy but useless or worthless object; a gewgaw.

adjective: Tastelessly showy; cheap; gaudy.

Where has this bit of locutious genius been all my life?

I'm now making it my mission to use this at least once in a sentence.

Any suggestions would be welcome...

A Word from the English Major

In honor of this auspicious date, I thought I'd do a little brushing up on my Shakespeare...

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears! (Julius Caesar Act III, Scene II) It has been said, quite famously, to beware the Ides of March.(Julius Caesar, Act I, Scene II)

Which is today.

Pah. Such a serious warning for such a beautiful day. Even my pal Miss Riss, living in the winter-plagued heartland, was able to throw off Jack Frost’s mantle and enjoy the advent of warmer weather. It seems that the winter of our discontent
(Richard III, Act I, Scene I) has dissolved into a blustery memory. *knocks on wood*

I can really tell spring is here -- everything is a vibrant green, although that might simply be an after effect of the torrential rains we had yesterday. My car is covered with a constant fine yellow dusting of oak pollen, thanks to the ginormous (yet lovely) trees in my neighbors’ yard. It’s a sight welcomed by car wash owners and one that is shared by just about everyone I see on the road -- it’s true that one touch of nature makes the whole world kin. (Troilus and Cressida, Act III, Scene III)

It’s been a lazy day -- one that started for me with the soft light through yonder window breaking (Romeo And Juliet Act II, Scene II) exceedingly early. My old friend Insomnia is paying me a visit and occupying me during the wee small hours of the morning, denying me the ability to sleep, perchance to dream- ay, there's the rub. (Hamlet Act III, Scene I) (speaking of rub, what I wouldn’t give for a serious back massage -- from some big strong hands belonging to a handsome dude... but I digress...)

The cleaning kick I was on last weekend continues today, although not nearly as turbo-powered. Tackling the living room, rearranging the furniture to find the best fit and look to accommodate the new end table. Which is, naturally, turning up all sorts of interesting things that have accumulated away from standard sight lines underneath furniture and behind everything. It’s a losing battle -- me versus the grime. I never would have imagine myself a woman to be overmaster'd with a piece of valiant dust? (Much Ado About Nothing, Act II, Scene I)

Dinner is now in the oven -- I’m totally sporting a lean and hungry look (Julius Caesar, Act I, Scene II), with the lean courtesy of The Damn NutriSystem, and, well, the hungry part too. It’s my one real meal of the week -- Italian Mac & Cheese. ‘Tis a dish fit for the gods (Julius Caesar, Act II, Scene I), but it will be all about portion control with me. Need to make sure I’m not sacrificing the lean part of the equation to overly satisfy the hungry part.

And my trusty agave nectar margarita is by my side -- once again. What they say about one desiring too much of a good thing?(As You Like It Act IV, Scene I) does not apply to my cocktails, thank you very much. Besides, the agave nectar is low in carbs and organic to boot. It’s really a health food drink -- mostly for my mental health more than anything.

As brevity is the soul of wit, (Hamlet Act II, Scene II) I shall bid you farewell, until tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, (Macbeth Act V, Scene V)when chaos is come again (Othello Act III, Scene III) and I will surely write about it.

Remember: We are such stuff as dreams are made on, rounded with a little sleep. (The Tempest, Act IV, Scene I)