"Kung Fu Panda" -- or as I refer to it because I'm a bit daft "Kung Pao Panda." It was part of a Girls' Afternoon with my niece Miss P -- lunch, a hour at Claire's, movie.
While that was fun, seeing the details in print make me realize I really do need to get out more.
2. What is your favorite movie theater snack?
Either Twizzlers or a Milk Dud/Malted Milk Ball mash-up. I've also been known to toss Milk Duds in with popcorn... trust me. It's rather delish.
3. Have you ever snuck in 'outside' food into a theater?
Nope. Although I have snuck people into a drive-in theater -- the old "stuff 'em in the trunk" trick.
However, I have seen people bring in three-course meals. And not be shy about it either. Asking someone to pass the brownies -- across two rows in a crowded theater -- is not what I would call subtle.
4. Have you ever made out in a theater?
But of course. (Not during Schindler's List though, thank you very much.)
There were a lot of movies in the early/mid '80s of which I missed major plot points thanks to vigorous games of tonsil hockey. There's just something about a dark, cool theatre and youthful hormones that makes for an irresistible blend.
5. What is the 'farthest' you have gone in a theater?
Just making out.
Please.
As a girl who thinks camping is no room service and who refuses to use a Porta-Potty unless it's an emergency, I have standards and comfort requirements in this area. Making out is about as far as I'm willing to do in such circumstances.
Bonus (as in optional): What is one of your favorite movie sex scenes?
This one. (Thanks to my Plurk buddy McJilly for the suggestion/reminder).
It defines food porn. And Mickey has never looked better.
Haven't hit a TMI Tuesday in a while... so here goes nothing.
Me and the Seven Deadly Sins: A Tell-All
1. LUST: uncontrolled or illicit sexual desire or appetite; lecherousness.
Besides your current Significant Other who do you lust for or have you lusted for?
Heh. Heh. Heh.
In no particular order, here are the primary objects of my lustful affection:
Clooney
Baldwin, Alec
Copeland, Stewart
Noth, Chris
Scott, Campbell
Malkovich
See a pattern? Rowrrr.
2. GLUTTONY: excessive eating and drinking.
What food brings out your inner glutton? Beef. Rare, marbled, succulent beef. I am the OCG (Original Carnivore Girl) Also adore all the accompaniments that traditionally go along with this: baked potato, creamed spinach, onions and mushrooms, bread, red wine. Decadent and divine.
3. GREED:excessive or rapacious desire, esp. for wealth or possessions.
What are you greedy for? I’ve given this some thought. And I honestly cannot think of anything I’m specifically greedy for... however, that’s not to say that I’m greed-free. I will be the first to tell you I have diva-tendencies. I like top shelf stuff. Not so much with the labels in clothing and cars and such. But I’m all about quality. Liquor. Personal care products (I will not tell you how much my shampoo costs... suffice it to say that it’s substantial. But my hair looks great.) Food. The latest and greatest books or music. Gotta have it. Gimme gimme gimme.
4. SLOTH: habitual disinclination to exertion; indolence; laziness.
What is your plan for an ideal day of sloth? This is too easy. Staying in pajamas all day long. Having breakfast, lunch and dinner delivered. Watching movies on the telly. Reading a bit. Naps. Lots of naps. A bubble bath. Doing nothing constructive for myself or mankind.
Describe a time that you let out a can of whoop ass on someone. Honestly, I cannot remember the last time I got really wrathfully angry. That’s probably not such a bad thing. I’m more one for pet peeves and issues and indirect anger... which right now is mostly directed in this area. And let's just leave it at that -- there's plenty there for the moment.
6. ENVY:a feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another's advantages, success, possessions, etc.
Who or what do you envy? Why? Man, this is a tough one. But here goes...
I love my child more than anything on this earth. Totally. I love who he is and who he is becoming, little by little, step by step.
But I’d be lying if I told you that there weren’t days when I wished with all my heart that he could have just a bit of time as a standard issue kid, with no health problems or developmental delays. I’m envious of those families who don’t have to deal with the situations we do.
Who are typical.
Who don’t have to worry about neurological complications every time their kiddo falls and bumps his head or acts a little out-of-the-ordinary.
Who can have a meal time as a family without special accommodations.
Who can carry on regular conversations with their kids.
Who can watch their children play happily and freely without assistance.
Who don’t know the inside workings of the hospital like the back of their hand.
Who have a child for whom milestones come easily and naturally and without effort.
I envy parents who don't have the struggles we do. And I envy, on behalf of my beautiful brave boy, children who are having typical childhoods.
My normal is my normal. I’m used to it. I accept it. It’s who I am in this world. And that’s fine. I know that nothing’s perfect and that every individual has quirks and issues. But just once, just for a little while, I’d like to try on someone else’s normal. The more standard issue version of normal. Me and Will and our family. All of us. Just to be regular folks for a bit. See what that feels like.
I hate that I have these feelings. Hate it. Hate. It. Am crying even as I write this.
But there you are. Me at my most human.
7. PRIDE: a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc.
What are you proud of? Ah, pride. My biggest bugaboo. I’m a weird bird in this area-- I have challenging and ongoing self-esteem issues, especially with body image and personality, coupled with a very proud nature when it comes to matters of intelligence. How’s that for complicated.
Ugh. My therapist certainly earns his keep in my life, dontcha know.
I could go on and on here. But I won't. I think I’m finished with this little exercise. It's exhausting. And enlightening. And me at my most basic. Warts and all.
(I need some cheering up... so here’s a little clip of the incomparable Fats Waller with “It’s A Sin to Tell a Lie.” It works with the theme. And it’s wonderful. Does the trick.)
3. With which politician would you most like to have a daliance? I’m going to go with Thomas Jefferson, believe it or not. He was whip-smart, open-minded, a free-thinker -- and had a totally cool house. Plus, there’s the red hair. Which intrigues me...
However, my subconscious has other ideas, as evidenced by the naughty dreams (yes, there have been more than one) about me and... Al Gore. Mind you, I haven’t had one of these dreams in years, but back in the early-mid ‘90s, they were on recurring status during my REM sleep.
Shut. Up.
4. How did you first find the g-spot? When I finally do, I’ll let you know. Or maybe not.
5. What is the best costume you've ever worn? On stage: This great slinky dress i donned to sing a medley of Fats Waller songs in a variety show many moons ago. It just fit right. My hair was long and crazy curly and I felt like a million bucks.
Halloween: Carmen Miranda. Complete with fruit turban and cha-cha skirt. And lots of heavy eyeliner. Good times.
1. Early bird or night owl? While in my soul, I’m a night owl, in reality, I’m an early bird. A really early bird, thanks to this damn insomnia that I wrestle with. Ugh. I’d like to blame my bladder for it, but in reality I wake up in the wee small hours regardless of whatever my urinary system tells me. It’s genetic, this thing. My mom also wakes up at odd hours -- always has. She calls it her “spooking around time.” What that entails, I'm never been quite sure. Me -- I either watch the telly (thank goodness for TV Land) or get on the net. Whee.
2. Where was the first place you ever had sex? HA! This wins the Most TMI Question of the Week as far as my details are concerned.
Under my parents’ Christmas tree.
Top that, y’all. Jingle my bells, baby.
3. On a scale of 1-10, how happy are you? (1 is lowest, 10 is highest) Let’s just put me at a firm 5. Some days, it’s higher. Some days, it’s lower. Gotta go with the average, because nothing in this arena is stagnant with me.
4. Are you more submissive or dominant? Everyday life: personality/mouthiness/control issues = dominant. Can’t help it. However, I suspect there are some arenas in which that submissive thing would come to the forefront... and that’s all I’m gonna say about that.
5. Do you believe in love at first sight? Yes. Hopeless romantic. Sometimes, you just know. And once or twice in the past, I have known immediately. BAM! Sigh.
Bonus (as in optional): Describe your bed time habits. What side do you sleep on? What do you usually wear? Any night time rituals? Before getting into bed: brush teeth; wash face; every two-three days, use this thingy; slather on night cream. Once in bed: moisturize with lotion all appendages and feet; apply lip balm. Sometimes I watch the telly, sometimes I read. (on the nightstand now: Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail ‘72. Go McGovern!)
What I wear to bed varies: nightie, t-shirt and panties; pj pants and a camisole. It totally depends. I sleep on the right side of the bed, closest to the door and to Will’s room. Which is important because we’re a dynamic duo during the week and I need to be able to hear him should he need me. Although truth be told, I tend to sleep all over the bed when it’s just me. When the mister’s home, I at least start the night on the right side -- even though I sometimes forget to stay in my space and end up doing the across-the-bed sprawl. Which doesn’t go over very well, as you might imagine.
Oh -- and I must have a fan on. Need that air circulating. Also -- even in the dead of winter (which here in Florida isn't really winter at all, but it's all I've got, so work with me here...) I sleep barefoot with my feet poked out from under the covers. I'm hard on a made bed. Bed Chaos, I call it. Nothing stays tucked. Ever.
Fun fact about me: I can pretty much fall asleep anywhere. I've nodded off in a bowling alley before, as well as in the stadium during the big homecoming pep rally/show extravaganza at the University of Florida. Movie theatres are a danger zone for me -- cold and dark. When I say that I've seen parts of a movie, this right here is the main reason why.
1. Pancakes or waffles? With or without toppings? Hmmmm. Good question. If I had my druthers, I'd go with (C)French toast. Regardless of which sweet morning-starting treat I chose, it would be totally without toppings. Maple syrup and butter only. None of this chocolate chip or whipped cream or flavored syrups stuff for me. 2. They say, "Way to a man's heart is through his stomach." What is the way to your heart? All together now -- it's through my brain. Yada yada yada.
Although a little massage, some sweet and/or naughty whispers in my ear and a little intimate caress (especially if it's done slightly subversively while we're in a public place) also work. Very well, I might add.
3. Have you ever gone to a topless/clothing optional beach? If yes, did you participate? No. Never have even had the opportunity. However, that's not to say I wouldn't consider it should said opportunity present itself...
4. What song(s) reminds you of a previous relationship (for good or bad)? "Out of Touch" ~ Hall and Oates "Piano in the Dark" ~ Brenda Russell "Start Me Up" ~ Rolling Stones
I'll save the stories for another time...
5. When, where and with who was your best kiss ever? When: Fall, 1984, immediately following the Florida Gators' securing the SEC Championship after a win over the Kentucky Wildcats
Where: The bedroom of the house in which my galpal's boyfriend resided
Who: Said galpal's boyfriend
Yeah, sadly and shamefully, I was that girl who messed around with my friend's fellow. And it turned out just as you might imagine it would -- ugly and painful and sad, as I lost a friend in the process.
However, I still remember a kiss we shared before secrets went public. The Gators had just won their first conference championship ever -- and a bunch of us were at a watching party at galpal's boyfriend's house. After the game was over, I went into GPBF's room to call my dad so we could have a little celebration on the phone. As I picked up the phone, GPBF came into the room, presumably to get something or other, took me by the waist, pulled me to him and kissed me with such passion that I felt my knees go weak. Perhaps it was the emotion; perhaps it was the exciting illicitness of a such a moment. Regardless... it's been well over 20 years and I still remember the feelings I had like it was yesterday.
Bonus: Does anyone not currently in a relationship with you have pictures or you or your body part(s) that you would prefer that other people not see?
No. Frickin'. Way. I don't even like to have my picture made fully clothed. So there you are.
1. If you were to face the Wizard of Oz, would you want more courage, more brains, or more heart? Gotta go with courage. I’m fierce when it comes to standing up for my loved ones -- the mama bear instinct, I call it -- but not so much when it comes to myself. I also need a good dose of the kind of courage necessary to take the first step into uncharted waters, especially when it comes to putting myself and my presumed talents out there. Prime example being my writing and actually doing something with it, rather than just talking about doing something with it. I’m all for lip service -- but the smoochy-smoochy kind, rather than the wishy-washy variety.
2. Have you ever gone to court for anything? What for? No. Never even been called for jury duty. Believe it or not. But I do watch a lot of Boston Legal (Denny Crane.) and Law & Order (Linus Roche, who plays the new DA on original recipe L&O, is my new TV crush... sexysmartintense is he.) Does that count?
3. What was the last thing you did that you previously told yourself you wouldn't do? Eat out of that bag of Twizzlers that I bought for Will’s feeding therapy. This is a recurring theme with me. My NutriResolve is kind of a slut when it comes to stuff like this. Unfortunately. 4. Did you ever have a summer fling while on vacation? Does church camp as a teenager qualify as a vacation? If so, than yes. My first big makeout session happened on one of those trips -- with a boy I met at the local Hardee’s who I sucked face with in the dugout of the baseball field next to where we were staying after sneaking out past curfew. My high school cruddy buddy Robin was a co-conspirator in this little adventure, having made the acquaintance of her own local fellow. I’m rolling my eyes just thinking about it.
I also had a fling with a Brit who was visiting our local beaches on his holiday. In an interesting twist, he was traveling with his girlfriend and her parents. We made acquaintance in the hot tub of my friend's time share condo complex, where they were also staying. A quick, subversive walk on the beach for a makeout session was the result. God Save the Queen, y'all. 5. Have you ever done anything sexual with someone whose name you never knew? No. Always got the first name of the fellow before things commenced.
Whether I remember them now is an entirely different story.
Bonus (as in optional): What is the best way to mend a broken heart? A pint or three of Ben & Jerry’s Chubby Hubby; repeated listenings to a sad songs mixtape (updated to a playlist these days); a romantic movie film festival (When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle and Pillow Talk are the usual featured flicks); some meaningless rebound action. That usually helps to assuage things. Oh -- and a really, really good cry.
1. Your boyfriend/girlfriend cheats on you with your best friend, who are you (more) mad at? The best friend. Boys may come and go, but breaking the girlfriend code... not cool.
That being said, I was once the best friend who did the cheating with the boyfriend. It was uggggggggly. And painful. Not worth it at all. Sometimes chemistry is a subject best ignored. 2. Is there something someone could say to you that would cross a boundary of not being able to take back or forgive them? Once upon a time, I would have said yes. Now -- no. Life’s too damn short for such nonsense.
3. What non-sexual body part do you find the sexiest? The brain. No question. To be blunt -- If you fuck my brain, chances are you can fuck the rest of me as well.
Followed by the eyes and yes, a hairy chest.
What? As always, you had to know that was coming.
4. Would you ever consider cosmetic surgery to have the perfect body? No way. Although the thought of a boob lift is appealing...
What is perfect, anyway? It’s all relative from my perspective. I earned my laugh lines, my character crinkles. They’re part of who I am. And I think working my tuchus off, literally and figuratively, to improve myself is much more confidence-building than letting an MD do it with his or her scalpel. A happy body, which totally germinates from the inside, beats a perfect body every single time.
5. Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex? Other than cocktail kisses -- no. That’s not anywhere on my list of things I have a burning desire to do -- just the way I’m programmed.
Bonus: If you were going to have a one night stand, who would you rather it be with- an ex or someone totally random you just met.
In the truest sense of the term, a one-night stand is a single-time experience with no strings or expectations attached. I’d probably have some residue left over from the relationship with the ex to be able to make a liaison a pure one-nighter. Given than, I’d have to go with the stranger. Which now that I think about it, is a totally hot concept...
1. Stubble... good or bad? How often do you shave? Stubble on a boy = very very good. Hot. Smokin’ hot. My affection for all things hirsute is well documented here.
As for me, I shave my legs every day. I’m in Florida. Don’t go two days without wearing shorts. Seriously. And I gave up pantyhose years ago.
2. If someone shoves you up against a wall while kissing you, your reaction is... exceedingly and enthusiastically positive. That would be a very, very good thing. For both parties. Yes indeed. 3. Did you ever own a fake ID? No, actually I didn’t. When I was of the age to be concerned about such things, one could legally drink at 19. Plus, honestly, underage drinking wasn’t such the taboo back then that it is now. I had no problem acquiring my beverage of choice -- which in those days was Lambrusco -- even in high school. Plus, I was always afraid I would be the one person who was busted with the fake ID.
4. What was your first job? Aside from babysitting, my first real job was as a lifeguard/water safety instructor. Which is a fancy term for teaching swimming lessons. Held that one the summer between high school and college. Still might be the best job I ever had. I worked the late shift, which started at 2 pm. The pool was then closed from 4:30 - 7 for Masters swim practice. I would teach two swim classes and then close things up at 9 o’clock. My boyfriend would meet me after work and we’d go out until my curfew. I could sleep in, run errands and still have plenty of time to start my routine all over again. Plus, I was in amazing shape and had a killer tan. What more could a girl want in a job?
5. What is the sexiest word in the English dictionary? Desire. Followed closely by imagination. And passion.
6. Are you left handed or right handed? Which direction does the top of your head lean when you kiss on the lips? Right and right.
7. Females: Which breast is larger? The left one. But only by about thismuch.
Bonus (as in optional): Define sexy? Sexy starts always always always in the brain for me. It’s an attitude -- confidence without arrogance, self-awareness without pretense, wit without effort, intelligence without smugness. It’s a gleam in the eye, a hint of a sly smile, a slight swagger in the walk. Make me laugh. Make me think. I’m yours.
1. In the midst of a hangover have you ever promised to "never drink again?" How long until you broke that vow? Oh yes, I’ve made that empty promise. Many times. It usually lasts anywhere from a day to a week. I’m pretty good about drying out between a hangover and my next indulgence. Especially now that I’m a Woman of a Certain Age and it takes me a wee bit longer to recover from such antics.
2. What is the stupidest thing you have ever done while drinking (or not if it is really stupid) but thought it seemed like a good idea at the time? Where do I start? And how long do you have?
There was the time that a couple of us sorority girls decided that our pal needed a home perm (this was the ‘80, remember, when perms were all the rage) and the perfect time to administer this was after a Friday afternoon happy hour. Yes, that did turn out as fantastically as you might imagine. I think she ended up getting her hair cut very short and just starting over.
Then there are the fabulous occasions known as Drunk Shopping Trips. That’s always a good time. Especially if accompanied by other Drunk Shopping Friends. Again, the danger time for this was always post-Friday Happy Hour. The post-drunk analysis of what was bought was always a treat. Sometimes, I’d get lucky and have made some surprisingly good choices -- but more often than not, the purchases were along the lines of “WTF was I thinking?” Hoochie shirts were very popular with Drunk Shopping Me. Horrendously ugly earrings. And it seems that I could never resist the siren call of Anything On Sale. There was a store called the Body Shop that seemed to always be the undoing of Drunk Shopping Me. This Body Shop is not to be confused with the fab skin and hair care establishment -- it was a clothing store that had car doors as the doors of the dressing cubbies. At least I think it was called the Body Shop. And the merchandise was befitting an establishment that features car doors on the dressing rooms. High klass.
Drunk Shopping Me has also made appearances in my post-collegiate life, although not with a lot of frequency. At a preview party for a huge rummage sale my volunteer organization was hosting, I drank way too much beer and ended up buying a figurine of Buddha that had a little man holding onto a gold ring that was attached to one of the Buddha nipples. Along with a tapestry-upholstered prayer bench. And 10 back issues of the Southern Living Annual Recipes. Which are the only items from the shopping haul still in my possession. Imagine that.
3. On a scale of 1-10, where do you rate green beer? Depends on what kind of beer it is that’s green. The color is really of no concern to me, as long as I deem it drinkable.
4. Have you ever kissed someone you shouldn't have (drunk or sober)? Silly question. To which the answer is, of course.
I’m debating on whether to tell the story...
...oh, what the hell. It is TMI Tuesday, after all.
I had just turned 30. Still a swinging single trying to figure out what the hell I really wanted to do in life. Working in PR during the day and in grad school at night. Taking a class in Contemporary Latin American Fiction. (Great class -- loved it. Difficult in a thought-provoking way. Taught by my most favorite professor ever. Good stuff.) There were a couple of us who would head to the campus watering hole after class for a beer. Or seven. In this crew was a very hot dude, with intense eyes and really long hair and intelligence that wouldn’t quit. And a band of gold on the ring finger of his left hand.
We happened to be unwinding after class the evening of the ‘94 midterm elections, when Newt Gingrich and his Evil Agenda were the news of the day. The more the negative (from our perspective) results rolled in, the more we drank. As the night went on, the conversation went from political to intellectual to saucy. And the body language of Hot Married Dude evolved from laid back to intense to intimate.
We ended up closing down the pub and decided to take our little party elsewhere -- to a gloriously seedy bar called Mastry’s that was just up the street, where we drank even more and got even saucier. And as it was time for us to go our separate ways, Hot Married Dude walked me to my car and planted one on my intoxicatedly willing lips. If not for the calculated taco blocko (female version of the cock block) of my then-friend-but-not-anymore-because-she’s a-bitch, who at that very moment not coincidentally decided to come roaring up in her car and flash her brights (jealously), I have a feeling that the kiss would have evolved into something. Maybe regrettable. Or maybe not.
How's that for TMI.
5. What is the stupidest thing you have ever seen a drunk do (besides driving a car)? Actually, the only really stupid drunk I can recall is... me. So one more story on myself.
Spring of my senior year in high school. I had gone to visit a childhood pal of mine, who was a freshman at UF, to get a feel for campus life. We went to a fraternity mixer the first night I was there -- and I got to fend off the advances of my first frat boy. Second night I was there, we ended up at -- you guessed it -- a Friday afternoon happy hour. Which extended into the night. And we ended up at a party where she and I tried to pierce a dude’s ear. Using only ice as the numbing agent. Trust me when I say that it seemed like a good idea at the time. Fortunately for everyone, we were spectacularly unsuccessful. I don’t even think we even drew blood. Ah, the follies of drunken youth.
I suspect I could think of more stories -- especially involving my adorable rascal of a brother -- but I’ll just leave it at that one. For the time being.
Bonus: How do you cure your hangover(s)? Water. Lots and lots of water. Before going to sleep, if possible. And like three extra strength Tylenol. Also before going to sleep if possible. And I’m a firm believer in the restorative powers of eating something carb-y and greasy, either while still drunk, if you’re up to it. Or while hungover. Best hangover food ever -- a Lil' Asher from a no-longer-in-existence place in Gainesville called Skeeter’s. This little ad from 1986 describes it better than I ever could...
The Lil' Asher was an artery-clogging piece of heaven that involved eggs, hash browns or home fries, melted cheese and one of those big biscuits. I’m convinced that the greasy stuff leveled out your system and the big biscuit soaked up all the booze.
I was once so hung (after a night of three-for-one drinks at a place called Bash Riprock’s with the Great Unrequited (gay) Love of My Life, who drank like a fish and dared me to keep up with him) that I had to ask my wonderful roommate Miss L. to get me a Little Asher to go, as I could not get up off the couch where I had fallen asleep (OK, passed out) the night before. Now that's called being hung.over.
Wow. Reading all these stories makes me sound like a real lush. It’s no wonder my UF college GPA was a total underachievement on my part. But I had a hell of a good time underachieving, let me tell you.
PS: These days, cold pizza fills in as my greasy, carb-y hangover food of choice. It’s not quite as effective as a Lil' Asher, but it works.
1. What was your favorite book as a kid? “Little Women” by Louisa May Alcott. Loved it. I can’t remember how old I was when I first picked it up, but I do know that I must have read it at least a dozen times during my adolescence. I have a feeling that it’s not popular with the young chicas these days -- the girls I know in the appropriate age range are more into reading serialized stories in the High School Musical ilk or magazines or, sadly, not reading at all. I think the fact that I was mesmerized by a hundred-year-old book is pretty cool -- and is probably the real foundation for me becoming an English major during my second tour of duty in college.
2. If you were stranded on that proverbial desert island (again!), what book or books (up to 5) would you want to have with you? *The Bible *Complete Works of William Shakespeare (plays and sonnets) *The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway *One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Márquez *Complete Works of Jackie Collins (if such a thing doesn’t exist, it should.)
3. What was the first "naughty" book you read and in what way was it naughty? Honestly, I can’t remember if this was the first “naughty” book I read, but it’s certainly one of the first -- Judith Krantz’ Scruples. Mature themes, language and lots of sex scenes. I read it one summer while lying out in the sun in my backyard -- must have been about 13 or 14. It was just the first in a long line of trash novels that I’ve read -- and still read today. Preferably at the beach.
4. If you were to publish your autobiography today, what would be the title? Hmmm. The title of this blog might work: Confessions of a Middle-Aged Suburban Diva. Or Colouring Outside the Lines. Or Lack of Control.
5. Would you rather look at nude pictures/pornography or read erotic fiction and why? Read erotic fiction. No question. My mind is my most sensitive erogenous zone and I like to be able to create my own visual accoutrements. Porn’s ok -- but this is much, much hotter.
PS: Looking for some really good -- as in really hot and really well-written -- erotic fiction? Check out the works of my great pal Susan DiPlacido. You won’t be sorry. She’s awesome. Both as an author and as a person.
Bonus (as in optional):Do you know the whereabouts today of the first person with whom you had sex? Kind of. A trip to Google gave me a pretty good idea as to where he lives (eastern seaboard). But it’s been years and years since I’ve seen him. Although he does pop up occasionally in a dream. Go figure.
1. Under what conditions would you kiss a stranger? Hmm. Hmmm. Hmmm.
Kissing. One of my favorite things to do.
I frequently do that cocktail-double-cheek-kiss to people I’ve just met in a social situation and if it’s appropriate. Kinda fun and sophisticated.
I’ve also quick smooch-pecked people in the thrill of victory -- like at a sporting event or election. Adrenaline fueled. Nothing naughty about it.
And... I’ve also done my share of drunk-suck-face before. More than my share, probably. Back in college, I kissed A LOT of boys. A. Lot.
Told you it’s one of my favorite things to do. Still is.
2. Who was the last person you sent a text message to? If you’ve never sent someone a text message, is there some reason. My galpal in NC. She’s a teacher and this is a great way to communicate during the day when she’s in the classroom. Although my penchant for words bogs me down in this texting thing -- I refuse to use the commonly accepted shorthand and insist on spelling out things like “you” and “to.” Even try to use correct punctuation. Where I acquiesce is with the capitalization. I just let that go. And feel very daring in the process.
3. When was the last time you deliberately surprised someone? A couple of weeks ago. And that’s all I’m gonna say about that. :-)
4. How often do walk somewhere (hopefully, other than the mailbox)? Does the treadmill count? If so then three to four times a week, schedule and health provided. Oh -- and I will also walk to the grocery store if I only have a few items to pick up.
5. What were the longest and shortest durations of your romantic relationships? Longest -- my current one. Going on 13 years.
Shortest -- a couple of weeks. If that. CRS (Can’t Remember Shit) is setting in here. There may be even shorter ones that I’ve forgotten.
Bonus (as in optional): What is missing from your life. Currently, enough sleep. Regular face-to-face adult interaction with grown-ups other than Will's entourage.
And some excitement. Not scary, critical or life-threatening excitement -- that I have had enough of for one lifetime. But ye olde routine has gotten a little stale and hackneyed for my taste. However, a bored me usually turns into a mischievous me. So stay tuned..
I actually should rename this Temperamental TMI Tuesday. Because once again, I wasn't all that excited about the specific questions for this week. And once again, I went poking through the TMI archives to find new questions to answer.
Here they are!
1. By what nickname(s) were you known as a child? Girlie (from my daddy -- he still calls me this, actually); JJ (my initials); Janie (only to a select few); Jane Elizabeth (when I was in trouble...)
2. Do you have a favorite poem and, if so, what is it? Recite it (or a snippet) here, please.
Shakespeare's Sonnet 116 Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments Love is not which alters when it alteration finds Or bends with the remover to remove O no -- it is a ever fixed mark That looks on tempests and is never shaken It is the star to every wandering bark Who's worth's unknown, although his height be taken Love's not time's fool Though rosy lips and cheeks within his bending sickle's compass come Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks But bears it out, even to the edge of doom
If this be error and upon me proved I never writ, nor no man ever loved (Typed from memory!)
I recited this beautiful piece for a Shakespeare festival when I was a sophomore in high school. And I've always remembered it. Had my pastor include it in the homily for my wedding.
At that same festival, I also played a small part in a scene from Henry IV, Part I involving Prince Hal and Falstaff. My character's name: Mistress Quickly. For the performance, we all wore t-shirts with Will Shake's picture on the front and our character's name on the back. What I wouldn't give to have my Mistress Quickly t-shirt still in my possession. It suits me now more than ever.
3. What is your greatest regret in life, something that you failed to do that you wish you did? Moved to New York City immediately following college to seek my fortune. I coulda, shoulda, woulda. But didn't. Not enough cojones. Sadly. And every time I visit Manhattan, I am swept with a slight feeling of sadness and regret. For what could have been.
4. You are tired and hungry, but it's too late to cook. If any snack food were available to you, what would you choose and why? Pizza. Sausage and onion. Flour tortilla chips and Chi-Chi's salsa. Ben & Jerry's Chubby Hubby. Twinkies. Pralines from Stuckeys. And a real Coke. None of that ubiquitous aspartame Diet Coke bullshit.
Can you tell I've considered this question before?
5. What is the oldest item of clothing (not jewelry!) that you wear regularly and what do you love about it? My Timberland boots (15 years old) So comfortable. Make my feet feel secure. They look like hell now, with scuffs and scratches and faded leather. But I don't care. Once upon a time, I used to wear them with EVERYTHING -- jeans, shorts, skirts. Not so much anymore. Whenever I put them on these days, lace up the tattered shoelaces and snuggle my foot into the well-worn interior, it's like having a date with an old friend. Familiar and a guaranteed good time.
Sad truth: I'm too damn old for today's TMI Tuesday questions, which deal with tattoos and pierces and combinations of which are turn-ons and other such youthful inquiries.
So I went and answered a set of questions from a few weeks back...
1) Do you have/ever had any dating or sex superstitions? (Wear 'lucky jeans' on first date, always light a vanilla candle, etc.) If so, what are they?
Candles are good. Very good. For lighting and aural atmosphere. And I used to wear a matching bra/panty set on first dates. There was security knowing I had on some bitchin’ undergarments. Not that the boy in question would get to see them, mind you.
2) If you were stranded on the old deserted island, and a genie appeared who could only grant you one wish -- to bring one of the following people to join you, who would it be? - your spouse/significant other - an unrequited love or some person you've had a crush on - an old/past love - your best friend
Truth be told, while my spouse would be a great choice, deep down I’d want to have my old love (the one of the great goodbye letter) with me. We might fight like hell, but when we weren’t arguing, the conversation would be amazing -- we’d never run out of things to talk about -- and the sex would be fantastic. There. I said it. Total TMI.
3) Tell us "weather or not" you're in the mood -- how does rain, snow, sleet, scorching heat, sweltering humidity etc. affect your libido.
Being here in Florida, not so much with the snow. But when it’s sweltering and humid and the air is thick and sultry, the libido heats up too. Very primitive and inhibition-less. Oh -- rain is a bit of alright, too. Both inside and outside...
4) Are you a crying drunk, an angry drunk, a 'I'm drunk, let's screw' sort of a drinker? (And, if you do not drink -- which one of those things is the reason?) I’m a fun, giggly drunk that morphs into a "I’m drunk, let’s screw" kinda girl.
This has proven to be both a blessing and a curse over the years.
5) Who turns you on the most & why: the activist the author the care-giver/healer (nurse, doctor, masseuse, herbalist, chiropractor etc.) the comedian the educator (professor, teacher, mentor etc.) the model the musician the politician the scientist
I have to go with the author. Cerebral. Thought-provoking. Articulate. Words, words, words, All major turn-ons. And there’s usually a wit that goes along with all of that as well. Whew. I'm flushing just thinking about it.
Bonus (as in optional): Looking back, what's the one thing you've done which was supposed to be erotic, but didn't quite work out? Once upon a time, a phone sex encounter didn’t go quite as planned. Bad phone connection and not being in synch with the dude on the other end of the line led to a fairly disastrous event.
And now I’m totally blushing from sharing all this nonsense.
Just discovered this fun and insightful meme site: TMI Tuesday. So because I'm a little lazy this afternoon (and getting ready for a night out with a couple of gal pals), I figured I'd just throw this on up and share more than a little something about myself. And this round is really revealing...
1. What's the sexiest gesture a person you are sexually interested can make? Extended eye-contact (aka a little sexy eye-fuck -- not the sleezy kind ) and acknowledgment/interest in my mind and what I have to say.
I have to know that you can fuck me both physically and mentally. If you can accomplish that at the same time, I'm all yours.
2. What are three inevitable things about you? That I will fall on my sword, even if I'm not in the wrong, to end an argument or falling out. That I will cry, at least once, happy or sad, every couple of days just because. That I will laugh with joy, at least once, every day. Oh -- and that my hair will always be curly and brunette. And that I will swear like a sailor.
3. How many types of orgasms have you experienced? Two -- three if you count a multiple. Had that only once and it's been years but I still totally remember it -- just not the guy's name who made it happen. HA!
4. What asset do you have besides the physical and the material? Gotta list two: the spiritual and the intellectual. These mean more to me than the material, actually.
5. What do you want . . . . now? Will to meet and exceed his potential. And a margarita.
Bonus (as in optional):describe a sexy mind. One that can challenge me, entice me, make me laugh.
My brain is honestly my most sensitive erogenous zone.
