1.04.2010

Look! It's a Bird! It's a Plane! It's Meme Monday!

A goofy meme to kick off the new year -- this one's a pip.

1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

Wow. That’s a pretty violent to start this off with. Let me think about it.

2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?
Any of those faux pop manufactured Disney spawn teenybopper artists. That’s not music. That’s noise pollution.

3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?
Jon Gosselin. O’Reilly and/or Beck. Just for being douches. That’s it for now.

4. What is your favorite cheese?
Toma

5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. What kind will you make?
Chunky chicken salad on a hoagie roll. Preferably from the Chicago Deli. Loved that sandwich.

6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once. Who is the lucky celebrity of your choice?
Jon Hamm. At least for right now.

7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who do you pick?
Please. Have we just met? Stewart Copeland. I’ve been in love with him for 30 years. No sign of that waning now.

8. Now that you’ve slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy shit, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it?
Considering the day I've just had, probably birth control and Ben & Jerry's. Girl's gotta rest.

9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
Manhattan. No question. Next!

10. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Shit! Now that you are in the new location, what are you gonna do?
That will go towards my bar tab at the Algonquin.

11. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. It is…?
Grey Goose. Again, have we just met?

12. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there?
Either 1930s Havana, where I’ll write or 1960s Manhattan where I’ll be Ann Marie’s roommate.

13. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?
NO WIRE HANGERS!! Just kidding. Probably do unto others...

14. You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it called and what’s the premise?
It’s a talk show. Set is my “bedroom” and everyone – me and the guests – wear pajamas. Tailored men’s pajamas. Title: Pillow Talk. Let me know if you want to be on the premiere week.

15.What is your favorite curse word?
Fuck. Yeah. I know.

16.One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?
Take a Pepsid, roll over and go back to sleep.

17. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the item?
Computer. It’s got my family photos, so two birds/one stone.


18. The Angel of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour?
Hee hee. Wouldn’t you like to know.

19. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What’s it gonna be?
Love this question – it reminds me of the Gilligan’s Island episode with the… radioactive vegetables. And I’d eat beets, like Mrs. Howell. Love them. And really, who couldn’t use more energy?

20. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
The moment when I first held Will. It was six weeks after he was born – his health had been so precarious that any contact was prohibited. When I finally got to hold him – the feeling, to this day, is indescribable.

21.You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
You know, I don’t think I’d do this. Regardless of how painful an experience was, it still contributed to who I am as a person. So I’ll just take them all.

22. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! Bitchin’! What country are you going to live in now?
Either England or Argentina.

23. This question still counts, even for those of you who are under age. Check it out. You have been eternally banned from every single bar in the world except for ONE. Which one is it gonna be?
The long gone but never forgotten Purple Porpoise in Gainesville.

24. Hopefully you didn’t mention this in the super-powers question…. If you did, then we’ll just expand on that. Check it out… Suddenly, you have gained the ability to FLOAT!!! Whose house are you going to float to first, and be like “Dude, check it out…I can FLOAT!”?
My brother’s house. Because we’d both probably just laugh our asses off.

25. The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier has given you the ability to resurrect the dead famous-person of your choice. So which celebrity will you bring back to life?
Dorothy Parker. I have so much to learn…

26. The Celestial Gates of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person, etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?
Cannot choose. Will not choose.

27. What’s your theme song?
I have two. Both Stones tunes. Honky Tonk Woman. And You Can’t Always Get What You Want.

Rock on.

7 comments:

bronsont said...

ROFL "No Wire Hangers" a woman after my own heart!

AsKatKnits said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHA

I am heading out to get tailored pajamas... and the premier week would be when?

karin aka perpstu said...

I have a suggestion for #1. Just syain' bwahahahahahaha

Web-Betty said...

13 was my favorite! There are so many rules to put into place, how could I pick just one? Right now I'd go with any NFL kicker who misses a field goal or an extra point gets flogged. Period. YOU HAVE ONLY ONE JOB!! And your shit doesn't move!

cajunvegan said...

Consider this one stolen. And, I have several names for #1. Yes, I know I said I'd continue to be the change, but that doesn't mean there aren't people who deserve to be removed from the planet.

TopSurf said...

I love this!! And I've never had Toma cheese before. Now you have me curious.

Crystal said...

I love this one. Stealing it. :o)