Saturday Morning Cereal: Eighth Bowl

As a young lass, Saturday mornings meant time with my favorite member of the family Leporidae and his crazy – dare I say loony – pals.

Yep. Talkin’ bout Bugs. Bugs Bunny.

These days, The Rabbit is tough to find on the telly. And while my Saturday mornings are now devoted to watching chefs wield their knives and home improvement experts sharing their craft, I often miss just sitting down to watch some Bugs antics.

It occurred to me that while Bugs and the gang were always good for a laugh, they had lessons to impart as well…

Charm goes a long way, especially when one is trying to negotiate tricky situations with itinerant prospectors, earnest hunters and Tasmanian devils.

The Fudd. Always foiled. Never deterred. A role model for the ages.

When literally face-to-face with a shotgun, sticking your finger in the barrel of said gun is the best defense.

Adding the word “le” in front of everything makes you a passable speaker of ze French. Le mew. Le purrrrrrr. Le pussy ferocious. (which may be my new stripper name, replacing Clams Casino.)

Rabbit stew is an international, time-tested favorite. Now, WHERE’S MY HASSENPFFFER!?!

Space aliens. Kind of douchebaggy.

Cross-dressing. Stylish and effective. In any situation.

There is no tragedy in life that you cannot get up and walk away from. Running off a cliff. Sticks of dynamite going off in your hand. Being crushed by an anvil.

When you step off a cliff, there is always a two-second delay before you fall.

ACME. Your source for just about everything.

Sometimes business is really just business. The sheepdog and the wolf went to work together, clocked in, did their respective jobs antagonizing each other, clocked out, went and had a beer.

Look to your right. Then look to your left. Then look to the left of the guy on your left. Chances are three of you probably have a speech impediment. And people neither notice, nor particularly care.

Classical music is teh awesome. And there are some pieces that had previously little-known lyrics and unusual used – songs about rabbit homicide and tunes to be sung while hairstyling are just two examples.

Grannys can be badasses when they need to be. Never underestimate an old lady – especially one wielding an umbrella.

Rabbits are great at time travel. They can jump from sitting with the Knights of the Round Table to hanging with Robin Hood and his Merry Men to causing havoc on the fields and war rooms of WWII.

Taking a left turn at Albukoikee can solve a plethora of issues.

And when you think about it, all we really need in life is to have someone hug us and pet us and squeeze us and call us George.

That right there is the best tidbit of all.

George.