The best laid schemes o' mice an' men
Gang aft agley,
An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,
For promis'd joy!
~ Robert Burns
I should have been out and about and attending a meeting I’d been looking forward to right about… now.
(You know there’s always a but with a lead-in like that.)
Young William’s health issues reared their horrible heads.
And just like that, my plans changes.
Seizure. Meds. Sleep. Gentle tending. Night night.
My ears are wired. My eyes are single focused. I don’t engage the recliner part of the sofa since I need to be able to get up and quickly at a moment’s notice.
Tonight, my parental concern is coupled with some disappointment. I was really looking forward to the meeting I had on the schedule. The subject matter was something that interests me – and I was hoping to plug in with the sponsoring non-profit so I can use some of my overly extensive training and skills.
Not to be. My version of motherhood took priority.
And I’d be lying if I said this didn’t irk me. Please understand that I’m not irked with Will – it’s the circumstances that make me mad.
It’s frustrating. I want to reach out and expand my scope – to do things that I have some passion about and to share myself with the community. But my first priority – now, then and always – is to my child. His needs supersede everything.
And tonight, he needed me. So my plans were rearranged. As they needed to be.
True confession: I had a little, very brief pity party for myself. But it didn’t last long. Not at all. When one starts reflecting on one’s blessings, even in the face of a trying situation, the pity party gets busted up pretty damn quickly.
I’m blessed to have faith that sustains and a God who doesn’t leave me, even when I get overwhelmed and forgetful.
I’m blessed to have true friends new and longtime who listen when I ask, who don’t pity when I vent, who don’t abandon when I’m not perfect. Who take me just as I am, flaws and weird life and all.
Most of all, I’m blessed to have an amazing, resilient child who bounces back after crises, who is the strongest person I know.
Who is my hero.