Proust Seduced

These have been long, languid days, the interval between Christmas and New Year's Day. And part of the amusement, aside from binge watching TV programs and catching a water workout class or two, has been catching up with the mass of periodicals that enters this house on a regular basis. I seriously think I may singlehandedly be keeping magazine publishing alive.

Aside from reading slightly outdated pop culture rags, it's been lovely to peruse some of my back issues of Vanity Fair, the most literate of my subscriptions (Trust me. I get Us Magazine delivered to my mailbox weekly.)  One of my favorite parts of VF can be found on the very last page: The Proust Questionnaire.

The Proust Questionnaire has its origins in a parlor game popularized (though not devised) by Marcel Proust, the French essayist and novelist, who believed that, in answering these questions, an individual reveals his or her true nature. Each month, a person of notoriety answers a subset of these questions, often with very revealing and witty candor.

In that spirit, I thought I might take a stab at the questions myself... and invite y'all to do the same. It'll be our brush with literary greatness for the day and a civilized way to exit stage left in 2013.

The Proust Questionnaire

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Requited, brilliantly-timed love.

What is your current state of mind?
Percolating with creative anticipation. Time to get serious.

What is your greatest fear?
Losing a child. Losing my sense of self. Snakes.

Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Dorothy Parker.

Who are your favorite fictional heroes?
Scarlett O’Hara. Mrs. Calabash.

Who are your heroes in real life?
My kiddo.

What talent would you most like to have?
To be able to tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue. Raise one eyebrow. And to be able to really, seriously dance -- tap or jazz.

Who are your favorite writers?
Ernest Hemingway, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Raymond Carver, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, John Irving, Jackie Collins

Who or what is the greatest love of your life?
My kiddo, Young William.

What are your most marked characteristics?
My laugh, my literal and figurative tongue, my naturally curly hair.

What are the traits you most deplore in yourself?
My rampant insecurity coupled with my ego-centric stubborn pride. Dangerous combo.

What are the traits you most dislike in others?
Pretentiousness, close-mindedness, bigotry, being judgmental, lack of a sense of humor.

What are your greatest extravagances?
Books, MAC lipglass, expensive hair care/skin care products and top shelf liquor.

What do you most dislike about your appearance?
My abundance of cushioned curvature in my body.

On what occasion do you lie?
When I’m afraid of disappointing someone with either my actions or my inactions.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
Seriously. Y’all. Seriously. Shit. Seriously.

What is your favorite swear word?
Shit. Duh.

What do you consider your greatest achievement so far?
Helping Will to maximize his potential. He's doing the work -- I'm just leading his entourage.

If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be?
An otter. Life is a constant party for those rascals.

What is your motto?
“’Tis better to ask forgiveness than permission.”