That's Ms. Scumbag to you, thankyouverymuch

We've all taken them. The Personality Test. I've filled out so many of these bloody things over the years that I've lost count.

This one is a little different. It's a whirly spin on the ubiquitous Myers-Briggs test. Here's the scoop on me:
Your Score: Scumbag- ENFP

60% Extraversion, 60% Intuition, 33% Thinking, 46% Judging

I have a feeling you're not going to like this much. Do I care? No.
How do I know? It's because you hate criticism. You love to be loved and you'll do anything to be accepted.

Unfortunately for you, I can see right through your insincere compliments and over-the-top greetings. No matter what you do, I'll always hate you for what you are. An arrogant, unstable, overly enthusiastic scumbag.

I bet you're pretty proud of your accomplishments, huh? You seem to achieve at whatever you put your little mind too. Trust me. Nobody likes the person who is good at everything. NOBODY LIKES YOU.

This might also have something to do with the fact that you're a cheating machine. You're just not the type of person to make long-term commitments. You enjoy seeing "what could be", rather than being satisfied with "what is." This, of course, means you often leave others in the dust while you seek out another lover.

Well, at least you're not the one left in the dust.

Unfortunately, when you're the one lying in the gutter with a bloody knife in your back, you might think differently.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you want to learn more about your personality type in a slightly less negative way, check out this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The other personality types are as follows...

Loner - Introverted Sensing Feeling Perceiving

Pushover - Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging

Criminal - Introverted Sensing Thinking Perceiving

Borefest - Introverted Sensing Thinking Judging

Almost Perfect - Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving

Freak - Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging

Loser - Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Perceiving

Crackpot - Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging

Clown - Extraverted Sensing Feeling Perceiving

Sap - Extraverted Sensing Feeling Judging

Commander - Extraverted Sensing Thinking Perceiving

Do Gooder - Extraverted Sensing Thinking Judging

Busybody - Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging

Prick - Extraverted iNtuitive Thinking Perceiving

Dictator - Extraverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging

Link: The Brutally Honest Personality Test written by UltimateMaster on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test View My Profile(UltimateMaster) So -- what kind of skewed personality do you have? Pony up and share, won't you...

Time Waster

MAP OF STATES I'VE VISITED

create your own personalized map of the USA

Can you say Daughter of the South? Wow.
~~~~~~~~~~
ARE YOU A GEEK?
This one was fun -- big old long test. Worth taking fer shure.

My results:
10.0591% = Geekish Tendencies

Not sure I'm geeky enough to catch Sheldon's eye -- but my heart belongs to Howard anyway. So that's OK.

TAKE THE TEST!
~~~~~~~~~~
AGE GAUGES

TV Shows
I was...
1 years old at the time the first Star Trek episode was televised
6 years old when All in the Family was first shown
7 years old at the time the TV series M*A*S*H began
11 years old when Saturday Night Live first aired
13 years old when CBS introduced Dallas
16 years old during the first airing of Hill Street Blues
18 years old at the time the first Cheers episode was televised
22 years old when L.A. Law was first aired on TV
22 years old at the time the series Married with Children began
25 years old when Seinfeld was first televised
26 years old in the month Home Improvement began
29 years old at the time the TV series Friends began
31 years old when Everybody Loves Raymond first aired

World Events
I was...
36 years old at the time of the 9-11 attack on America
35 years old on the first day of Y2K
32 years old when Princess Diana was killed in a car crash
30 years old at the time of Oklahoma City bombing
29 years old when O. J. Simpson was charged with murder
28 years old at the time of the 93 bombing of the World Trade Center
26 years old when Operation Desert Storm began
25 years old during the fall of the Berlin Wall
21 years old when the space shuttle Challenger exploded
19 years old when Apple introduced the Macintosh
18 years old during Sally Ride's travel in space
16 years old when Pres. Reagan was shot by John Hinckley, Jr.
15 years old at the time the Iran hostage crisis began
11 years old on the U.S.'s bicentennial Fourth of July
9 years old when President Nixon left office
7 years old when Alabama Gov. George C. Wallace was shot
4 years old at the time the first man stepped on the moon
3 years old when Martin Luther King Jr was assassinated
not yet 1 year old during the Watts riot
34 years old when Who Wants To Be A Millionaire began in the US

~~~~~~~~~~
Last but not least -- a couple of name generator thingys.

Cyborg Name Generator

Get Your Cyborg Name

Sexy Name Generator

Get Your Sexy Name

I Am Goddess, Hear Me Purrrr...

Yep, it's Pilfered Blog Fodder Time once again -- my chica Perpstu to the rescue as usual. I sure hope she comes and steals something of mine soon, so I don't feel like a total moocher.


YOU ARE HEBE

Animal: Bird
Color: Burgundy

Hebe is the daughter of Zeus and Hera, the rulers of the gods. Hebe married Hercules, and was wine bringer to her parents. She is the entertainer, the one who enjoys pleasing the guests and keeping the good cheer flowing. She represents an earthy and provocative nature.

In Euripides' play Heracleidae, Hebe granted Iolaus' wish to become young again in order to fight Eurystheus. Hebe had two children with her husband Heracles: Alexiares and Anicetus. In art, Hebe is usually depicted wearing a sleeveless dress. (Yet another good reason to do one's triceps exercises.)

Hebe is the goddess of pardon or forgiveness. She is also the goddess of youth and can make the old feel young again.

Cool. I'll take that.

It Is Certain...

... that this exercise is crazy.

Directions: use the shuffle function on ye olde music player (iTunes, baby!) to see what comes up in answer to the following questions.

Disclaimer: these are TOTALLY random. I couldn't make this up if I tried. Promise.

How does the world see you?
“Eight Miles High” ~ Husker Du

Will I have a happy life?
“Handful of Keys” ~ Fats Waller

What do my friends really think of me?
“Brick House” ~ The Commodores

Do people secretly lust after me?
“Love Me Do” ~ The Beatles

How can I make myself happy?
“Big Balls” ~ AC/DC

What should I do with my life?
“Like Humans Do” ~ David Byrne

What is some good advice for me?
“Theme to the Muppet Show”

It's time to play the music
It's time to light the lights
It's time to meet the Muppets on the Muppet Show tonight.

It's time to put on makeup
It's time to dress up right
It's time to raise the curtain on the Muppet Show tonight.

Why do we always come here
I guess we'll never know
It's like a kind of torture
To have to watch the show

And now let's get things started
Why don't you get things started
It's time to get things started
On the most sensational inspirational celebrational Muppetational
This is what we call the Muppet Show!

How will I be remembered?
“Side of the Road” ~ Beck

What is my signature dancing song?
“Give It Up” ~ Amos Lee

What do I think my current theme song is?
“Fun, Fun, Fun” ~ The Beach Boys

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
“The Night is Young and You’re So Beautiful” ~ Frank Sinatra

What song will play at my funeral?
“Bastards of Young” ~ The Replacements

What type of men/women do you like?
“How About You” ~ Stan Getz

What is my day going to be like?
“Out of My Mind on Dope and Speed” ~ Julian Cope

A is for Apple, J is for Jacks...

As it appears my muse has gone on holiday, here's another meme to pass for some scintillating blog material. Maybe that blank page I've been staring at will write itself...

A is for your age:
Wow, this really starts out with a bang.

I'm... wait for it... here it comes... don't blink or you'll miss it... 43.

B is for your burger of choice:
Cheeseburger. Rare. Grilled onions. Ketchup and mayo.

C is for the car that you drive:
Honda Pilot.

D is for dog's name:
No doggie currently. In fact, the only dog I've ever owned was one I received on my fifth birthday -- a datschund I named Hamlet.

That explains a lot about me, doesn't it. (ie: I've always been a weirdo)

E is for an essential item you use each day:
My computer. Top of the list.

F is for your favorite television show:
Current: 30 Rock and Mad Men.
Classic: The Dick Van Dyke Show.

G is for favorite game:
Trivial Pursuit or anything of that ilk. I get really competitive when I play. Like really competitive. So competitive that often my fellow players make me a one-woman team.

I still kick their collective asses.

H is for hometown:
St. Petersburg, FL

I is for instruments played:
Piano (kinda -- I took lessons for 10 years but you would never know it now)
Tambourine
Maracas
Kazoo

J is for favorite juice:
Apple or cranberry. It's a tie.

K is for what you'd like to kick:
The current administration. Right where it counts.

Yeah, you read that right.

L is for last restaurant you dined at:
TooJay's Deli. Dining companion: my delightful eight-year-old niece.

M is for your favorite Muppet:
Grover. Or Miss Piggy. C'mon. We divas have to stick together.

N is for number of piercings you have:
Two -- one in each ear. So. Boring.

O is for overnight hospital stays:
Two for myself: one when Will was born and one when I had my fibroid tumors removed.
I also have done the overnight thing countless times when Will has been the patient. Sigh.

P is for people you were with today:
So far, it's just Will. But we have errands to run, so that will change.

Q is for what you do in quiet times:
Think. Breathe. Think. Read. Think. Sleep. Think.

R is for regrets:
Here's a global one: not always following my passion and my heart. I have some "what if" questions in the closet. Probably always will.

S is for status:
Mother. Wife. Democrat. Brunette.

T is for time you woke up today:
First time: 4:30am
Second time: 7:45 am

U is for what you consider unique:
Every single person on this earth is a unique being.

V is for favorite vegetable:
Proper answer: the carrot
Honest answer: the potato, baby. I never met one I didn't like.

W is for your worst habit:
Hmmm. Let me get back to you on this one...

PS: it's procrastination

X is for x-rays you have had:
Two. Both on my left ankle. Ouch.

Y is for yummy food you ate today:
Define "yummy." I'm on the NutriSystem. Yummy is all relative.

Z is for zodiac sign:
Libra. The sign of balance. HA!

Fabology!

A meme... it just seemed like the thing to do, as the half-dozen half-written posts I have sitting in draft form aren't speaking to me today. Now if only they would write themselves...

Technology
Q: What is your wallpaper on your computer?
OK. You asked for it. Don't laugh. Or do, actually.

It's this:She makes me giggle. Constantly. Totally fabulous.

Q: How many televisions do you have in your house?
Two. One in the living room and one in the bedroom. We must be under average, I'm sure.

Biology
Q: Are you right handed or left handed?
Right handed.

Q: Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Fibroid tumors. Yeah, I know.

Q: What is the last heavy item you lifted?
My monthly delivery of Nutri-Food. Son-of-a-bitch is heavy. Perhaps that is also part of their plan -- burn calories by literally hauling our shit around.

Q: Have you ever been knocked out?
Other than from dental anesthesia, no.

I have lived a very dull life in this area, apparently.

Bullshitology
Q: If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
No. Too much pressure. Just let it happen. And it's a cliche, but you gotta live life with this in the back of your mind. No regrets. And making sure your loved ones know they are indeed loved.

Q: If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
Katherine, called Kate for short. Or Lucy.

Q: What color do you think looks best on you?
Other than the ubiquitous black, I wear purple very well. Or so people say.

Q: Have you ever swallowed a non-food item?
Does gum count? Oh. Heh. Yes.

Dareology
Q: Would you kiss a member of the same sex for 100 dollars?
Maybe. Maybe not. How's that.

Q: Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
Good lord, no.

Q: Would you never blog again for $50,000?
Nope. Gotta write. Gotta express. Gotta rant. Invaluable to me.

Q: Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1,000?
Hell no.

Q: Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for a million dollars?
Are you joking? Hell NO. Good grief, what a question. Seriously.

Dumbology
Q: What is in your left pocket?
Chances are, my cell phone.

Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
Good? Hmm. Kinda. It's pretty damn funny -- does that count?

Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
Hardwood. Save for the bathroom, kitchen and office, which are tile.

Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
Stand.

Q: How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
Waaay too many to count. Wait. At least 10. All from Old Navy, where I get them for like $3/pair. I mow through them in the summertime.

Lastology
Q: Last person who texted you?
My brother. Smart ass that he is.

Q: Last person who called you?
Per my caller ID, 'twas Sprezzatura. I had a CRS moment on that one, as I was on the phone A LOT last night. But hers was the last number listed...

Q: Last person you hugged?
WILL! Just now. And he hugged me! So sweet.

Favoritology
Q: Number?
27

Q: Season?
Fall. Temps are cooler, the air is brighter. And it's football and basketball season, baby.

Q: Color?
Purple. Eggplant purple. Gorgeous.

Currentology
Q: Missing someone?
Not really.

Q: Mood?
Sassy. It's going to be one of those days. Good night's sleep and all. Emphasis on the 'all' part.

Q: Listening to?
Squeeze. Singles 45's and Under. Classic.

Q: Worrying about?
Mostly shit I have no control over, no matter how hard I try. I'm not even going to try and list everything. Too long and boring.

And the size of my fat ass here in bathing suit season.

Q: Wearing?
My pajamas. Light blue shorties with a baby doll top. Very summery and acceptable to run into the yard to get the paper.

Randomology
Q: First place you went this morning?
Nowhere yet. But on the list are the gas station (that's an immediate need, as the little "you need fuel, dumb-dumb" light is on), the bank, the neurologist (Will has a follow-up appointment) and the grocery store. Whew.

Q: What can you not wait to do?
Two things:
1. Go on our annual week-long holiday at the beach (t-minus 12 days)

2.Take my grown-up trip with pals to Vegas in August.

Five friends, five days, two concerts, zero responsibility. Bring it on.

Q: Do you smile often?
I do. And laugh too. All the time.

Q: Are you a friendly person?
I am. I talk to EVERYONE that crosses my path. Just how I'm programmed.

A is for Apple, J is for Jacks...

(either I'm losing it or Blogger is -- this bloody thing is on here twice and I DON'T KNOW WHY! My money's on me, actually, being the whacko...)


As it appears my muse has gone on holiday, here's another meme to pass for some scintillating blog material. Maybe that blank page I've been staring at will write itself...

A is for your age:
Wow, this really starts out with a bang.

I'm... wait for it... here it comes... don't blink or you'll miss it... 43.

B is for your burger of choice:
Cheeseburger. Rare. Grilled onions. Ketchup and mayo.

C is for the car that you drive:
Honda Pilot.

D is for dog's name:
No doggie currently. In fact, the only dog I've ever owned was one I received on my fifth birthday -- a datschund I named Hamlet.

That explains a lot about me, doesn't it. (ie: I've always been a weirdo)

E is for an essential item you use each day:
My computer. Top of the list.

F is for your favorite television show:
Current: 30 Rock and Mad Men.
Classic: The Dick Van Dyke Show.

G is for favorite game:
Trivial Pursuit or anything of that ilk. I get really competitive when I play. Like really competitive. So competitive that often my fellow players make me a one-woman team.

I still kick their collective asses.

H is for hometown:
St. Petersburg, FL

I is for instruments played:
Piano (kinda -- I took lessons for 10 years but you would never know it now)
Tambourine
Maracas
Kazoo

J is for favorite juice:
Apple or cranberry. It's a tie.

K is for what you'd like to kick:
The current administration. Right where it counts.

Yeah, you read that right.

L is for last restaurant you dined at:
TooJay's Deli. Dining companion: my delightful eight-year-old niece.

M is for your favorite Muppet:
Grover. Or Miss Piggy. C'mon. We divas have to stick together.

N is for number of piercings you have:
Two -- one in each ear. So. Boring.

O is for overnight hospital stays:
Two for myself: one when Will was born and one when I had my fibroid tumors removed.
I also have done the overnight thing countless times when Will has been the patient. Sigh.

P is for people you were with today:
So far, it's just Will. But we have errands to run, so that will change.

Q is for what you do in quiet times:
Think. Breathe. Think. Read. Think. Sleep. Think.

R is for regrets:
Here's a global one: not always following my passion and my heart. I have some "what if" questions in the closet. Probably always will.

S is for status:
Mother. Wife. Democrat. Brunette.

T is for time you woke up today:
First time: 4:30am
Second time: 7:45 am

U is for what you consider unique:
Every single person on this earth is a unique being.

V is for favorite vegetable:
Proper answer: the carrot
Honest answer: the potato, baby. I never met one I didn't like.

W is for your worst habit:
Hmmm. Let me get back to you on this one...

PS: it's procrastination

X is for x-rays you have had:
Two. Both on my left ankle. Ouch.

Y is for yummy food you ate today:
Define "yummy." I'm on the NutriSystem. Yummy is all relative.

Z is for zodiac sign:
Libra. The sign of balance. HA!

One Louder

(thanks to Wildhair for bringing this to my happy attention!)


more graph humor and song chart memes

Best Math Lessons EVER!

The always (and I do mean always) witty wordsmith Clark shared this site on his blog, and in the spirit of flattery, I pilfered it for my own.

Hi-larious.





Go check out the site: GraphJam. Do it -- you'll love it.

Note: the comments on the graphs are called TPS Reports. Genius.

PS: In keeping with the spirit of Kenny Week (because really, that's what it's become) here in jane's world...

Indulgence

My favortie crazy-charming-campy moment from the American Idol finale last night.



I totally want to talk to the guy who had to write the band arrangement of this little ditty. I hope he was properly compensated...

Just Watch

Fantasia on last night's American Idol results show.

Y'all.

This is bat-house insanity at its best. She's a glorious hot mess. Seriously. It's fabulous. And so is she.

PS: Check out Cowell's reaction at about 2:55. Greatest thing I've seen in, well, forever.

Gotta match three for the win!

Just because... an homage to the greatest game show ever -- Match Game!

Killin' Time...

and taking quizzes to avoid the abundance of laundry staring me in the face. Hey, I can waste time with the best of them.

In the words of that great philosopher, Gomer Pyle:
Surprise, surprise, surprise.

Not.

Your Political Profile:

Overall: 10% Conservative, 90% Liberal Social Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal Personal Responsibility: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal Fiscal Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal Defense and Crime: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

How Liberal Or Conservative Are You?

~~~~~~~~~~

Who knew? I'll take this...

You Are Confident Sexy

You're one sexy chica, and you know it. You've got the confidence to strut your stuff... And approach any man who happens to catch your eye. You may make a guys run away, but the true men will appreciate your moxie.

What Kind of Sexy Girl Are You?

~~~~~~~~~~

Shocking.

You Go For Brains!

You want a guy with a big... brain. And of course it would be nice if he were a total hottie, but you're not counting on it. What's on the inside is what counts for you. (Besides, you can always change the outside later!)

Do You Go For A Guy's Brains or Body?

~~~~~~~~~~

Natch. And Duh.

You Are a Mac

You are creative, stylish, and super trendy. You demand the best - even if it costs an arm and a leg.

Are You a Mac or a PC?

Time Waster Wednesday

I'm sleep-deprived, preoccupied and bleary-eyed.

These quizzes, from Blogthings.com, suit my frame of mind. I can think without having to work too hard. Perfect.

~~~~~~~~

I totally knew how this one was going to turn out,
even before I took it...

You Are Miss Piggy

A total princess and diva, you're totally in charge - even if people don't know it. You want to be loved, adored, and worshiped. And you won't settle for anything less. You're going to be a total star, and you won't let any of the "little people" get in your way. Just remember, piggy, never eat more than you can lift!

The Muppet Personality Test

~~~~~~~~~

Hmmm. This one is interesting.
Not sure I agree with it totally, but it's food for thought...

You Should Be a Joke Writer

You're totally hilarious, and you can find the humor in any situation. Whether you're spouting off zingers, comebacks, or jokes about life... You usually can keep a crowd laughing, and you have plenty of material. You have the makings of a great comedian - or comedic writer.

What Type of Writer Should You Be?

~~~~~~~~~

OK. This I'll take...

People Envy Your Ingenuity

You're a person with unique ideas, big plans, and a zany outlook on life. Many people look to you for inspiration. People envy your creativity and "who cares?" attitude. They feel very ordinary next to you - and they usually are!

What Do People Envy About You?

~~~~~~~~

BOO-YAH!

Your 80s Theme Song Is:

You Shook Me All Night Long by AC/DC

What's Your 80s Theme Song?

~~~~~~~~

Guess it's my favorite color for a reason...

Your Mind is Purple

Of all the mind types, yours is the most idealistic. You tend to think wild, amazing thoughts. Your dreams and fantasies are intense. Your thoughts are creative, inventive, and without boundaries. You tend to spend a lot of time thinking of fictional people and places - or a very different life for yourself.

What Color Is Your Mind?

"We're On the Radio!"

Walked through the living room just now to find That Thing You Do! on -- and in a lovely serendipity, it was right at the point with my favorite scene in the whole movie. Actually, it's one of my favorite movie scenes ever.

Total exemplified joy.

Socialist Butterfly

No wonder I get all farklempt and riled up when I read The Grapes of Wrath...

You are a Social Liberal (73% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (16% permissive) You are best described as a: Socialist Link: The Politics Test on OkCupid.com: Free Online Dating Also : The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

Excellent.

see more crazy cat pics

From the all-rodent remake of Say Anything. The Ione Skye part is played by a cute little hamster in a dark wig. In case you were wondering.

Cheers!

This. Is pretty awesome, actually. I'm really rather diggin' it.

The Recipe For jane

3 parts Imagination 2 parts Wit 1 part Intellect Splash of Energy Chug!

What's the Recipe for Your Personality?

My New Boyfriend

My list of celebrity beaus just keeps getting longer and longer...

The Clooney
Alec Baldwin
Chris Noth
James Carville (although he and I are on a break because he said some jackassy things regarding Bill Richardson's endorsement of Barack...)
Stewart Copeland


and now... Jimmy Kimmel.

True confession: I loved -- nay adored -- The Man Show. But only the Kimmel/Carolla incarnation. I laughed, despite the total piggish, slightly misogynistic, usually gross humor. That shit was funny. Although I still don't see the appeal of Girls on Trampolines. But I'm also not the target audience for that bit, so it's OK that I don't get it.

However, I've not really kept up with Jimmy since he made the move to late night. I'm usually asleep when he hits the airwaves. But lately I've been thinking about programming ye old DVR to catch him, thanks to not only the brilliant Matt Damon/Ben Affleck videos, but this latest one. Featuring one of my fave campy counselors, Richard Simmons.

Take a look...


That's damn funny. Which is why Jimmy Kimmel is now on my Celebrity Boyfriend List.

BONUS: Richard Simmons in one of his classic appearances on Letterman! If you've never seen these two together, you need to take the time to watch -- hilarious. Promise.

Excellent...

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com