Thursday Thirteen: The Sequel of the Sequel

Thirteen "Interesting" Things I Have Seen, Done or Experienced Lately

1. The “unmentionables” featured in this week’s installment of Wordless Wednesday. Still not quite over that one. Ew.

2. A refreshingly honest panhandler – his sign said “Why lie – I’m gonna buy beer.” I threw him a couple of bucks just because. Don’t judge me.

3. A dude, riding a vintage motorcycle with a sidecar. And when I say “vintage” I mean there was a little plaque on the sidecar that said “Der Führer rode here.” Playing the role of passenger was a doggie (looked like a lab mix) wearing goggles. Just hanging out. Awesome.

4. The parade of pajama-wearing adults in the morning car line at Will’s school continues. And to think I was worried about my unruly non-conditioned hair causing a scene this morning.

5. An albino hooker, wearing Payless Uggs, getting take-out from the walk-up window at Checkers. Not a tranny hooker, mind you. Just a standard issue one. Apparently everyone needs to take a lunch break now and then.

6. On The Price Is Right a couple of days ago, a dude with the EXACT same name as Mr. Love Letter was told to “ come on down.” Not the same guy, but I’d be lying if I said my blood didn’t run a little cold and my heart skip a beat. Weirdness abounds.

7. Will announced to me just yesterday that “Jane, you’re playing a game you never can win.” I never thought it possible, but perhaps there can be too much classic rock in one’s life. He also told his speech therapist that he “won’t back down.” Oy.

8. Ask not Whatever Happened to Baby Jane – she’s alive and well and shopping at my local grocery. Seriously. There’s a LOL (that stands for Little Old Lady in Janey-Vernacular) who has fashioned herself to look scarily similar to the title character in that gothic camp classic film.

9. This week in Trainwreck Telly: The Real Housewives of New York. It’s like crack – horrible, horrible for you, but I cannot look away. You simple cannot make stuff like this up.

10. A segment on The Wiggles this week featured the gang trying to determine who has the biggest feet.

I’ll just leave it at that.

11. I’ve become a celebrity stalker on Twitter – currently following M.C. Hammer, John Mayer, Gail Simmons, Tom Colicchio (mmmmm) and my favorite, Ashton Kutcher (he is smart and very, very funny – yes, I have a bit of a crush.) I really should be more ashamed of this than I am. Voyeur, thy name is Janey.

12. Current renewed Guilty Pleasure: I’m once again watching Guiding Light, after a two-year hiatus, give or take. Funny how it takes approximately two episodes before one can be completely caught up on happenings. And by the way, Reva is pregnant – post-menopausal pregnant and undergoing-chemotherapy pregnant. Only in Springfield.

13. New addiction: Mafia Wars on Facebook. Yes, I have no life. Damn thing has totally sucked me in. I’d tell you what my name is on there, but then I’d have to kill you – don’t need any more surprise attacks than I’m already getting.


Anonymous said...

I am howling with laughter... now how do I miss all the good Wiggles segments!!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA "Jane, you're playing a game you never win"

Out of the mouths of babes....

Miss Attitude said...

I saw you Plurk what Will said and it's still freaking hysterical!

I've been following MC Hammer for a while now.. mildly entertaining at first.. now I'm thinking about an unfollow.. but Ashton.. hmmm....

TopSurf said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Oh you have outdone yourself with this post. I am rolling and laughing my head off. Fantastic!

Liz In NoFla said...

#7. Made me snort in laughter.
#8. We have a Baby Jane LOL in my Zumba dance class at the Y. She's so over what people think of her that she flosses her teeth while waiting for class....scary.

Ruprecht said...

"Mafia Wars" ... ?!?!?!


Rupe just might have to do something other than just activate the account up and running. It's been there since the stupid Sprezz made me do it. Now she's making fun of me for it just sitting there.


But now, with this "Mafia Wars" thing, Rupe might just have reason .....

Nice post, cj .....

perpstu said...

BWAHAHAHAHA! Will might steal the title of funniest kid alive away from LW. That is hilarious. Oh and the Guiding Light business? Thanks, just thanks a lot - another time suck I don't need! MUAH!

touched said...

You Are Hilarious!

On a limb with Claudia said...

Wait - what? Albino hooker in Uggs? What?