Saturday Sloth: Brrrrrr Edition

I like these questions today -- they're all over the board. Kinda like me. Plus, it's Arctic-like outside in the F-L-A. I'm chilled and a little random... ooooh look! Shiny!

1. Do you have a former lover who you feel is “the one who got away”?
Yeah. I do. He’s the one I always go to that “what if” place in my mind whenever I happen to think of him. Which, thank goodness, isn’t as often as it used to be.

2. Do you have a nickname? If yes, do you like it?
Where do I start? There's Janey, which I adore -- along with the variation Miss Janey, used most frequently by the Choir Urchins. My pops calls me Girlie. And then there's the whole "full name" thing involving my first and middle names. Jane Elizabeth. Which is used more than you think. But only certain people can get away with calling me that...

3. Did you go to theater, museums, or art galleries growing up?
Absolutely. I can remember going, at about age six, to a special kids concert program given by the Florida Orchestra. When I was a bit older, we had tickets to the first Broadway series programmed by our local performing arts center.

Saw “Annie” and “A Chorus Line.”

Guess which one I liked best?

Step, kick, kick, leap, kick, touch...Again!

Even then, my inner gay man had a voice.

We also went to museums whenever we were on vacation. And historical sites. Lots and lots of historical sites. Granted, many of them were Civil War sites. Or, as it's known in some of my family circles, The War of Northern Aggression. I've seen Robert E. Lee's horse's -- the long-suffereing Traveller -- grave at Washington & Lee University. I was also able, as a tweenager, to identify an antique style by just looking at the legs or lines of a chair. Ball and claw, anyone? Maybe a Hepplewhite.

Yeah. I know.

Gotta give my folks credit -- they made sure I had culture in my life at an early age. And for that, I will always be grateful. And very thankful.

4. What shoes are you wearing right at this moment?
None. Are you kidding? I’m the barefoot queen. Even though it's cold enough to snow outside at the moment. And my sad excuse for a pedicure is proof. Although I have about seven pairs of shoes under my desk. Does that count?

5. What do people who know you think is your best feature?
Hmmm.

I’ve been told I have fabulous hair, pretty eyes, a good nose, and, well, great tits. You pick.

Although I'd like to think my mind is my best feature of all.

That and the tits. Oh -- and the hair too. Plus my eyes.

Shut up.

6. What do you like on your pizza?
Sausage and onion. Extra cheese. Thin-ish crust.

However, this is not appropriate food for me at this point in my Healthy Living Quest. So boooooo to you for bringing it up.

**sob**

I love pizza. Sigh.

7. Do you believe people who curse generally do so because of a lack of vocabulary?
Holy shit! What the f#&$ do you mean? I swear like a bloody sailor and consider myself to have a pretty damn extensive vocabulary. So, the answer, at least in my case, is hell no.

8. How well do you sing?
Not bad. Pretty good, actually.

Here, let me demonstrate...

HA! Faked you out.

Unless you really would like to hear me croon a tune...

9. How well do you get along with your family?
Remarkably well. Again, thank goodness because I live 10 minutes from my parents. We’re both really good about respecting one another’s boundaries. For the most part. Ahem. And it’s nice that they’re so close, considering that Will and I are a dynamic duo during the week, as the mister travels every M-F for work. And my beloved brother and his family are just about 90 minutes away. Also a gift.

Saturday Sloth

Another opening. Another show. Another lazy Saturday. Another meme.

I'm in the mood to write today, but not in the mood to think too hard. Does that make sense? I've got what seems like a jillion half-written pieces dotting my desktop wallpaper, completely hiding Glammy's face. That's Glammy over there on the right -- she's my desktop wall paper. My muse. My reason for being. OK, not really.

Anyhoo.

So I poked around, looking for inspiration to help me. And, as is my modus operandi, I didn't opt to use any one specifically -- this is a One from Column A and One From Column B kinda thing.

It's called Coloring Outside the Lines, people -- and it's very liberating.


1. Is there a day of the week that time seems to fly by faster than the other days?
Sunday. Always. It seems as if it were just Friday and then BAM -- The Simpsons are on and I’m trying to get Will organized for school.

2. Is there a day of the week that seems to never end?
Wednesday. Probably because I am always racing around doing errands and then prepping for my Choir Urchin rehearsal that evening. Toughest but most rewarding hour of my week. They put me through the paces -- all 15 of them. Whew -- I don’t know how full time Pre-K teachers do it. I come home exhausted. But it’s a happy exhausted.

3. Have you ever had a strong crush on someone, but did not say anything to that person? If yes, why?
Oh yeah. Hell, yeah. I’m not the Queen of Unrequited and Undeclared Love for nothing.

I've had more quiet crushes and unspoken affection for more boys than I can remember. Stretching all the way back to elementary school when I pined away for an older (three years) fellow who barely knew I was alive. Such torment. Through middle school. And high school. Even the occasional one in college. Sometimes the crushes lasted for weeks, sometimes just a couple of days. In those days, I was way too shy to ever actively pursue the objects of my affection. I loved in silence.

This wistful Rodgers & Hart tune is a classic look at my longtime predicament...

Glad to Be Unhappy
Look at yourself, if you had a sense of humor
You would laugh to beat the band
Look at yourself, do you still believe the rumor
That romance is simply grand?

Since you took it right on the chin
You have lost that bright toothpaste grin
My mental state is all a-jumble
I sit around and sadly mumble

Fools rush in, so here I am
Very glad to be unhappy
I can't win, but here I am
More than glad to be unhappy

Unrequited love's a bore
And I've got it pretty bad
But for someone you adore
It's a pleasure to be sad

Like a straying baby lamb
With no mammy and no pappy
I'm so unhappy
But oh, so glad!

And here's Miss Ella with a live rendition...

4. Have you had a crush in secret and then told that person? If yes, what happened?
No -- but almost. Never could get my nerve up or the timing right. Probably better that way. Considering I was totally head over heels in love with the guy -- and he was so aloof in this area, even though we were great friends. Turns out he was wrestling with sexual orientation issues. If I'd said anything, it would have been a big honking mess and ruined our friendship. Easier to have my heart break in solitude.

This was my theme song during that period:



5. Have you ever been stalked?
No. Thank goodness. But I had friends that were -- and it's some scary shit.

6. Have you ever, in retrospect, stalked someone?
Do high-school era “drive-by your ex-boyfriend/crush/ex-boyfriend’s-new-girlfriend” antics count? Lord, I hope not...

7. Have you ever slept with someone on a first date?
La la la... oh yeah. Even had my share of one-night-stands. Not exactly my proudest moments, but they were what they were.

And some were much better than others.

*insert eyebrow raise*

What?

8. Have you ever regretted not sleeping with someone?
Honestly, no. Never had second thoughts about turning down that invitation, such as it was. Wait... maybe once. Maybe. But it's a very tentative maybe. So no.

Maybe.

9. What attracts you first to someone else (sexually, romantically or both... you chose)?
Wit. Humor. Intelligence. It is so all about the mind for me.

And a hairy chest

C'mon -- you had to know that was coming.

OK -- your turn. Spill.